Reply #5: Three for the price o' one

[1monster]

An Englishman, an Irishman & a Scotsman....
...walk into a bar and all order a pint of Guiniess
.
The Englishman notices a fly in his head and pushes the sweet brown nectar away in disgust.

The Scotsman also sees a fly in his head, pulls the fly out and commences drinking.

The Irishman sees the fly in his head, grabs the fly by the wings and screams "Spit it out ya bastard!"
+++++++++++++~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~++++++++++++++++~~~~~~~~


The 98 year old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.

They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused.

Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop .

"Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you die."

She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face said, "Don't sell that cow."
++++++++ ~~~~~~~~ ++++++++ ~~~~~~~~ ++++++++

A man comes into a pub in Ireland, walks up to the bar, and orders three pints.

"You'll want them one at a time, or they'll go flat."

"No," says the man, "Three pints. All at once."

So the bartender pulls three pints and gives them to the man, who sits at a table and drinks a sip from each one at a time. He finishes the three, pays, and leaves.

This gets to be a routine, always the same. Whenever the man comes in, he always orders three pints. The bartender always tells him that one at a time would be better, and the man always declines.

Finally, his curiosity getting the best of him, the bartender asks: "Why do you want three pints all at once like that?"

The man replies: "I'm one of three brothers. I've one in New York, and one in Boston. We all just moved apart and we all said that to keep from forgetting each other, we'd always drink a pint for ourselves, and one each for our two brothers."

The bartender is then satisfied. Whenever the man came in, three pints would be drawn up for him without question.

This continued until one day, when the man walked in and stopped the bartender. "Only two pints today," he said.

A hush fell over the pub as all the patrons in the know came to the same inevitable conclusion. The bartender delivered the two pints with a somber expression. "We're all very sorry for your loss," he
said.

"What loss?" says the man. "No, no loss; I've just quit drinking, is all."