Rep. Kay Granger's Drink Recipes -- WTF? Seriously. What. The. Fuck?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

Yes, this woman is actually running for Congress. Apparently, while getting shit-faced on really disgusting alcoholic beverages. Check out these recipes from her website.

Now, I do believe the name "Killer" is absolutely appropriate for this one:

Easy, Killer Margaritas

Ingredients:
Frozen Limeade (any size)
Tequila (your choice)
Beer (your choice)

Empty the limeade into a pitcher. Using the empty can as a measure, add 1 can of tequila and 1 can of beer to the pitcher

Stir and pour over ice. Squeeze wedge of fresh lime on top.

WHAT THE FUCK? Beer and Frozen Limeade mixed with Tequila does not a make a margarita. It makes for a very bad time in the bathroom. I can choke down most alcoholic beverages and I've never been sick from drinking (honestly, quite amazing), but I would not risk that.

Now we're onto what I like to call, "You're a Cheap Ass Drunk," although she has a different name for it.

Coffee Liqueur (Kahlua)

1/4 lb regular ground coffee
2 lbs (4 + 2/3 cups) sugar
1 oz (2 Tb) pure vanilla (not imitation)
1 pint pure grain alcohol

Steep coffee with 1 quart boiling water and let stand overnight.
Filter through coffee filters. (Use your coffee maker. You will have to change the filter often.)
Boil sugar with 2 cups cold water for 10-12 minutes. then add the filtered coffee.
Add pure vanilla and pure grain alcohol
Stir well, bottle and cap

Yields about 2 quarts.(If you double the recipe, buy one fifth pure grain alcohol then add vodka to make a full quart. Yields almost 5 quarts)

God damn. Nothing better than some good ol'fashioned coffee moonshine. Yummy.

And for when you're feeling ill from drinking that shit, she has a fix.

Recipe For a Happy Day
24 Hours of Love for ALL people
Large serving of laughter (more is better!)
Pinch of compassionae tears
2 Listening Ears
1 Understanding heart
1 Good friend, seasoned to dependability
2 Prayers

Mix all ingredients, beginning with one prayer
In the Morning add a handful of pleasant memories
Discard bad ones. Stir with joyfull enthusiasm.
Bake in the warmth of your faith.
Top with one prayer at evening. Enjoy!

That'll fix you right up!