Phoenix, Arizona is one of the worst places on earth.

[Alexander]

I moved here in early 2003 for school (I go to ASU in Tempe). I've been to four continents and countless places in my life, and although I have a fair number of complaints about each one, no place is so thoroughly wretched as this (supposedly the 5th or 6th largest city in the country). Let me explain myself, with 5 main reasons why this place so thoroughly sucks.

1) Culture. Every place has *some* culture, but Phoenix has damned little. Historical sites get torn up and replaced with apartment complexes. Museums, art galleries and artistic performances here are godawful, worse than I've seen anywhere else.

The different sections of town are cookie-cutter corporate complexes - with a Blockbusters, McDonalds, Safeway, Fry's, (insert nationwide chains here) every 5th block or so. Very little in the way of local flavor, and almost nothing here is over 50 years old.

2) Traffic. The roads here are fine. The highways are fine. But the drivers are worse here than anywhere else. People here cut you off without signalling, because they are too busy talking on the phone. They deliberately take up 2 or 3 spaces in crowded parking lots. They play "racing games" on onramps because they HAVE to be first on the highway.

That's the tamer stuff. They also swerve into your lane and try to chase you down if you dare honk at them (yes, this has happened to me, only here). I saw a cop here haul ass the wrong way down the street, without having his siren on, or even his headlights, in the middle of the night. I saw an 18-wheeler nearly tip over because the driver took a turn way too fast. When sports fans come from abroad they make a point of being even WORSE drivers.

When I bike or walk, I am literally playing with my life. Most of the time drivers don't see me, or worse, don't care. If I were less patient I'd bring a hammer to bang on their hood every time this happens.

Probably not by coincidence, there are LOTS of DUIs here.

Oh, and there's no parking *anywhere* in Tempe. Forget it. Even if the parking lot is completely empty, if you go somewhere else for a short time, they'll tow you to the nearest redneck's junkyard faster than you can say "Fucking Phoenicians".

3) Weather. Yes, in the winter it's usually nice. Nice if you like inhaling lots of bizarre pollutants all the time. Apparently going outside anywhere here for a long time is like smoking a pack of cigarettes, unless you get away from the city. It never rains, so the smog gets trapped.

Oh yes, a DUer reminded me of the filthy stuff that passes for water here. I "cleaned" my dishes with it, and it leaves a white film on them. It tastes gross, and I don't feel clean after bathing. Once last year the city advised everyone to boil their water because there was a contamination scare. Yet people look at me as some sort of snob because I don't dare imbibe this garbage.

The summer, however - is a furnace that can only be rivalled by Hell itself. "It's a dry heat", I hear. Bullshit, the humidity has increased dramatically just because of human intervention. I hear Hell is a dry heat, too.

4) Sleaze. You know Vegas? Yeah, it's like that. Minus the nice casinos and the fun entertainment. Lawyers have no shame with going on TV and telling you they can get you out of your DUI arrest. One of the main streets in Phoenix has prostitutes and strip clubs galore, along with No-Tell Motels.

Businesses here are inherently shady, as a lot of what they do here is illegal in most states. Thinly-disguised pyramid schemes are everywhere. Lots of places try to get you to put money down *first* before you go to work on whatever it is they do (don't do it).

Quacks here are everywhere, I have personally ran into no less than 3 terrible doctors. One was secretly a child molester. One was a right-wing idiot who prescribed me some bogus medicine, and I could tell even before I got a second opinion. One of them misdiagnosed my cat, telling us he was fine when he was really dying from cancer.

5) Stupid people. It's not cool here to know stuff or think about things. I try to talk about something - ANYTHING - at parties, and people butt in to tell me to shut up and get drunk.

I can't count the number of times fellow ASU students have said "There's nothing to do here but get drunk". Unfortunately, it's not limited to just the college kids. EVERYONE does it.

I talk to the conservatives, and they can't use logic and facts to save their lives. The sad thing is, neither can the liberals. Schools here are terrible, and everyone I've met who went to public schools here knows absolutely nothing.

I've had to debate English MAJORS on grammar rules that I learned in 3rd grade, which they knew nothing about. I'm Political Science, myself, but it's still sad.

I was told of this preacher who goes to campuses all across the country, and he said some of the dumbest motherfuckers on earth were on ASU's campus. I'd expand that to include the entire Phoenix area.

-Those were just the top 5 complaints. I could come up with more but I'd be here until this time next year. These problems are everywhere, but they are so bad here as to be intolerable.

God, I can't stand this place any more. I'm transferring out ASAP.