Reply #134: Dear Reverend Santa Cheesehead Claus:

[Dangerously Amused]

I like your taste, and I trust your judgment. Therefore, I will let you surprise me.

In the interests of full disclosure, I have been a fairly good girl this year, better than most years, but not as good as a few. However, as you know, those benchmark "good" years took place when I was quite a bit younger and had significantly fewer responsibilities. Say, age five. So I don't know that it is fair, really, to keep the bar quite that high these days. Also, I was wondering if you could please grade on a curve this year. This should probably entail tossing out both my best and worst overall years as a matter of principle, to maintain the integrity of the scoring system. Finally, any badness of mine you may have observed over the past couple of days is completely out of character for me, and was completely provoked by one or two certain naughty boys, with whom I'm sure you are quite familiar. To this end, any such recent naughtiness on my part should not be credited to my gift quota, but to theirs.

Okay, and lastly, I am a fellow Cheesehead, so I think that should score me a few bonus points. Not that you would ever engage in nepotism or anything. Oh yeah, and I love you more than anybody else on this board ever could.

Thank you, Reverend Santa Cheesehead Claus!