I think it also depends at what stage in a relationship it occurs. I think if someone buys into the whole irrational romance/love thing and it is the foundation for the relationship then an infidelity will break it. Some stick it out due to obsession or possessiveness but that usually ends in a train wreck and usually subsequent marriages that fall apart for the same reason.
As far as Hillary and Bill, they have a good marriage that is not based on silly notions, it is more a partnership or friendship. Her self-esteem and worth doesn't depend on such things.
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