Hey men! It's the Dorcus Collection of fashions!

[Bouncy Ball]

From our popular Husky Bastard collection, this stunning checked jacket is a must for the arrogant theater major on your list. Those checks aren’t just for show - they’re part of a metallic skeleton built right into the suit! When the jocks hold you down and beat the crap out of you, no doubt out of spite because they couldn’t ever HOPE to perform in Oklahoma! the way you did last month, well, your jacket will hold its shape. Available in many colors - mud, blood, and hot snotty tears of shame.

The pants contain Dorcus’ patented Sternum GrippR system, which keeps the waistband at the desired, fashionable height. By an ingenious system of nylon threads, space-age pulleys and a piton hammered into the breastbone, the wearer can always be sure his waistband is right where Dame Fashion decrees it should be.

http://www.lileks.com/institute/dorcus/index.html