Reply #25: This is a tough one.

[SheilaT]

Ovarian cancer is so nasty, so deadly. And it seems incredibly unfair of her to ask you to keep this from the other sisters, especially if you are all so close.

Do you all live close to each other? Are the other sisters completely not aware that she's in the hospital? Are your parents still living? All of these are factors, although they don't determine absolutely what should be done.

Even if you cannot persuade her to free you from your promise not to tell, you must speak with the hospital psychologist (surely they have one on staff) to discuss all of this.

I'm trying to imagine being in a similar situation (I'm one of six, three boys, three girls) and how I'd feel if asked not to tell of serious illness, or if I were to find out only too late that I hadn't been told.

I know of a situation recently where a woman died of breast cancer, and she had never told any of her male acquaintances (she was single, never married, about 55) of the disease, but had told all of her close female acquaintances of it, but held each one to strict confidence.

It must be so hard to face one's mortality so directly and immediately, that maybe by trying to limit who knows, you can feel you have some sort of control when your life is being taken from you.

Know that you have the love of all of us.