thanks to GOPisEvil for getting me to the hospital on time today....

[Gato Moteado]

he was out running errands when i called him to pick me up and take me to the hospital....there was no way i could drive. i was fighting just to keep from losing consciousness, not knowing what the hell was wrong....all the potential horrors were running through my mind (stroke, seizures, anxiety attacks, DTs, insanity from watching an ashlee simpson video online). he got me there, and hung around while the highly skilled medical technicians impressively gave me a catscan before making me drink the marker. the nurse sticking me with needles told me about her arthritis while she dropped syringes and caps on the floor. not a single one of the doctors or nurses would agree to give me a prescription for medical marijuana. then, probably because they had paying customers with hangnails waiting in the lobby, they pumped me up with some drugs and booted me out the door.

i'm still a little woozy and not quite sure what they were thinking about that one. if i go into a coma tonight, you can thank the texas healthcare system.