Reply #18: To be perfectly blunt and honest...

[MiddleFingerMom]

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...you RESPECT her choice of attitude about HER condition. Even
if she IS in absolute denial, who or what are you going to help
by taking away her hope and optimism?
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Who or what are you going to make better?
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You do the best YOU can to give her what she knows and loves
about you.
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While you're AWAY from her presence, you be as dark and hopeless
and depressed about her/your situation as you wish to be (I hope
you choose NOT to do that)... but if you can not HELP this woman
you love to maintain her positive attitude as SHE sees fit, then you
need to make a GOOD excuse and stay away from her until you can.
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Anything less would not be "loving".
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If SHE is ever down, that is when you can and should help her see
things differently in a loving way... but if you just want her to see
HER world as YOU feel would be "realistically", you need to get some
help from someone so that you can BE that loving son that you are
and that she is going to need.
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Your love for her is obvious. Develop skills (or reacquaint yourself
with those you already have) to truly HELP her during this stage of
her life.
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Get out of YOUR life... and try to get more into HERS. You can help
her by making it a point to grieve AFTER the fact... not before it.
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One last thought: How would you like it if all she had to say was,
"Why SHOULD I plan for next year? I'm just going to be dead, anyway."
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Answer: You would try to lift her spirits... you would try to instill
some sense of hope and anticipation of potential joys.
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Lucky you. She seems to be perfectly willing to do that part FOR you.
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Good luck.
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