Reply #150: I've been super busy at school this semester.

[Jamastiene]

My advisor decided to spring my curriculum project (the big tough one for the whole shebang) on me this semester. I honestly think this is the toughest assignment he could have found. He must have sat around thinking for ages to come up with this one as a project for me and one of my classmates (i think it's his project too). I have to go in a fix years of random repairs to the robotics lab. There are two robots just sitting their waiting to attack me as I try to rewire them and repair them. I just know the classmate and I are going to recreate that old fighting dinosaurs toy I had when I was a kid. I can just see the tedious hard thinking catching up to me and suggesting it and the eventual scolding we will probably get for it. I've never been able to be too serious about anything for too long. To be honest, intellectually speaking, I'm terrified. I hope I am smart enough to be able to do this project by the end of the semester. After seeing the mess they have created, I seriously doubt my abilities and my smarts. I'm terrified.

Other than that, I finally cried tonight. I don't think I have to really say much about why except that when Toby on Rockstar dedicated that song and then Storm sang, "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd, I along with Jason Newstead and my aunt cried like babies. I hadn't cried until tonight. I had been in fighting mad mode and walking around like a severely depressed zombie all week. The cry felt better somehow. My head started hurting earlier and then became worse and worse. When I started crying, the headache started draining out of my system. I imagine there is more to come because the headache, while way less intense, is still there. I don't want to start a flame war, so I will leave it at the fact that I refused to let myself cry or feel real emotions for so long that the cry was a relief.