Reply #51: I chose 'depends on the circumstances'

[StellaBlue]

My last ex hit me several times:

slapped me a few times, when I'd slapped him first (both in the face), never harder than I'd slapped him

hit me in the nose once after I'd gotten so infuriated at him that I pulled his hair (we were in bed, trying to go to sleep, arguing, and it was dark, and he didn't know where his blow would land, so I DON'T think this was okay, as it was WAY harder than me pulling his hair)

etc.

I *always* hit him first. Well, slapped him. But, as anyone who was familiar with the situation would tell you, he actually needed to be slapped. Big time. He was a total asshole.

Having said that, I do think that violence is NEVER the answer. But, in the real world, if a woman hits a man first, he probably has the right to hit her back, but not harder. If she's pummeling him or cornering him or sitting on him or something, he definitely has the right to hit her.

To say that a man should NEVER hit a woman is to accord women some super-human status, put us on a pedestal. I think that just sets us up for more equality. Though I have LOTS of problems with my ex (his personality, I mean, not with HIM, I don't talk to him), I don't think he was out of line to slap me back. I shouldn't have slapped him. I was more wrong.