Reply #13: Then that's serious enough that she should be careful.

[RevCheesehead]

My mom has very brittle bones and a bad shoulder. After about 3 or 4 times of hugging her and hearing her scream out it pain, I realized that I would never again get those giant bear-hugs from her.

Every once in a while I forget, and she cries out in pain. But that's usually enough to remind me to be careful. And I feel horrible when I cause her that kind of pain.

Sounds to me like you might want to explore that issue further, whether in therapy, or elsewhere. Isn't sex supposed to be about mutual sharing? If something is causing pain, you certainly have every right to protect yourself, if she won't.