Reply #81: No flames here, but I'll admit that we're not strict parents.

[Xithras]

My kids don't like some of my parenting practices (no computers or TV's in their bedrooms, bedtimes are strictly enforced, everyone eats dinner at the table every night no matter WHAT'S on TV), but for the most part I let them have fun with their childhoods. The thing is, we taught them from an early age that they need to clean up after themselves and that respect is something that must be given if they want any themselves. People actually used to marvel at how well behaved my kids were, and that they always said "Please", "Thank You", and had excellent manners. The funny thing is, I didn't "instill" these values...I do these things myself and they just picked them up.

Over the past year however, my daughter has grown quite a bit more rebellious. I guess it's a natural thing since she's entered puberty, but she grown mouthy and has developed a hell of an attitude. We've tried to talk to her, cajole her, and even bribe her into knocking it off, but the harder we push, the harder she pushes back. Her whole attitude is that she can do whatever she wants because we can't really stop her. Her little brother has seen this attitude shift and lack of respect, and is copying it. Whenever he gets in trouble for it, the first thing he says is, "But JENNY does it!!"

It has me pulling my hair out at this point, and I'm just trying to figure out how to drive the lesson home that they will be treated with the same respect that they give to other people, and that you have to give love and cooperation if you ever want to get it. I've TRIED talking, many many many times, but it doesn't do any good.

I'm sure that some professional analyst could walk in and tell me exactly what I'm doing to screw up my kids lives, but I can't see where I went wrong.