Reply #28: My opinion...

[Left Is Write]

You should not have issued the ultimatum without your wife's agreement. No parent should be issuing such a drastic ultimatum without the full support of the other parent. It's bound to lead to trouble otherwise.

Yes, I do think it's cruel to take away Christmas. It may also backfire on you, sending the kids into full "fuck you, Dad" mode. They wouldn't have much else to lose.

You can get out of your ultimatum and still retain your credibility as a parent. Sit the kids down and explain that you made the ultimatum out of frustration. Then go on to inform them that you are still angry/upset that they have ignored your instructions and they will still have to face the music. Take away another privilege they really enjoy - television, computer, what-have-you. Tell them they must earn that privilege back, and give them clear, specific instructions how to do so. Tell them the privilege will not be earned back until all of your criteria have been satisfied.

I agree that their behavior needs correction. I just don't think taking away Christmas is the way to do it (though I do understand your reasoning, really I do).