Reply #31: Yes, the statement is manipulative,

[Flaxbee]

putting pressure on you when you're trying to make a good decision about the fate of another human being.

And I have to ask, though you don't have to answer: do you trust her? Even if you two talk, and she agrees to wait, do you trust her to not "accidentally get pregnant"? Forgot to take a pill, forgot the sponge, forgot whatever? Yes, you can use condoms, but they're certainly not 100% (nothing is but condoms aren't as reliable as the pill or condoms + sponge or whatever).

I realize it's a rude question, I do apologize. It's an angle to consider, though. I have decided not to have kids and my husband is in agreement, but it is much easier for me to abide by that decision, I can be perfectly sure I take the right precautions but if your wife is manipulating you about "finding someone who will" can you be sure she wouldn't get pregnant believing you'd love the little guy when he shows up nine months later?