Reply #18: What a way to introduce myself... :(

[DixieNurse]

Hello Steve---My name is Carla and I am an addict and an alcoholic (but isn't it nice to be part of a group???)


Dang it--I wasn't counting on coming out with this mess right off the bat, but it's not up to me, so here goes....(I would like very much to PM you, but I can't--I'm new here, and that's that...but hey--thanks to all the folks who have written me to say hi--sorry I can't write back--enough about me..)


I've been in recovery almost ten years, and I have to tell you that my gut feeling tells me that there is something going on with you, Steve....not that it's necessarily a negative thing, but I just have that feeling and here's why:


You said this about yourself, "..frankly, I've seen more than a few posts on this board that give indication of men and women in trouble because of alcohol....I said before none of my friends lifted a finger to help me. And that pisses me off. After I sobered up-- after I detoxed enough to began picking up the pieces of my life, I swore that I'd never not help a friend if I saw they were in trouble. And I'm a man of my word.....I don't hint at anyone or anything. All I'm saying is, if you recognize even a LITTLE BIT of yourself in my story, then for the sake of you and all those around you, SEEK HELP."


I don't know how you have managed to stay sober as long as you have--with no professional treatment of any kind! You went cold turkey--the hardest way to go, btw! I also see that you are giving credit to God for your willpower (no one better to rely on for this), however, there is much to be said for the 12-Steps and counseling--it shows you the "whys" about alcoholism, and can help you to understand yourself better and the reasons you started drinking in the first place...


And about helping others...your statement above seems to contradict itself. First you say, 'none of my friends lifted a finger to help me' (what the hell were they supposed to do for you?), then you said, 'after I detoxed enough to began picking up the pieces....I swore that I'd not help a friend if I saw they were in trouble..' (What the hell?!) Do you believe that your recovery is too special to share with the very people who had no clue how to help you? Where is your peace of mind in regards to forgiveness and getting over stuff?) Surely you aren't still holding grudges against those folks for all this time....


"And I'm a man of my word" Now, this sounds great--depending on what your 'word' consists of... Nothing to be proud of in the refusal to help another--no matter what your 'word' is, my friend...


The you admit that you were unable (like the rest of us) to quit alone--right? But you said this about that.."All I'm saying is, if you recognize even a LITTLE BIT of yourself in my story, then for the sake of you and all those around you, SEEK HELP." With this statement you have done two things: Refused to acknowledge that when you were sick and couldn't see that you were, that there were folks who were instrumental in getting/giving you the help you had to have, and forgetting that if there are people here who are sick, then they also have no idea they are, nor do they know how to help themselves...


I spent three months in rehab in the middle of a crak neighborhood in downtown Memphis--and I got clean of a speed/alcohol addiction--thank God! But I came out of there feeling a responsibility towards the others of us (yep me and you), who are still out there using..(we have to share what we know with them...otherwise, we fail ourselves as well)


I hope you take this in the spirit in which it's intended--I don't know you at all--but we are cut from the same cloth, and I want you to have peace of mind as I do...


Thanks,
Carla