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a Rabbi sent me this via email a couple of years ago.
Jewish Haiku
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After the warm rain the sweet smell of camellias. Did you wipe your feet?
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Her lips near my ear, Aunt Sadie whispers the name of her friend's disease.
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Looking for pink buds to prune, the old moyel wanders among his flowers.
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Today I am a man. Tomorrow I will return to the seventh grade.
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Harsh Scrabble discord-- someone has placed "putzhead" on a triple word score.
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Testing the warm milk on her wrist, she sighs softly. But her son is forty.
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The sparkling blue sea reminds me to wait an hour after my sandwich.
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Tea ceremony-- fragrant steam perfumes the air. Try the cheese Danish.
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Lacking fins or tail the gefilte fish swims with great difficulty.
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Yom Kippur-- Forgive me, Lord, for the Mercedes and all that lobster.
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My nature journal -- today, I saw some trees and birds. I should know the names?
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Like a bonsai tree, your terrible posture at my dinner table.
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Beyond Valium the peace of knowing one's child is an internist.
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Jews on safari -- map, compass, elephant gun, hard sucking candies.
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Coroner's report -- "The deceased, wearing no hat, caught his death of cold."
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The same kimono the top geishas are wearing: got it at Loehmann's.
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The sparrow brings home too many worms for her young. "Force yourself," she chirps.
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Jewish triathlon: gin rummy, then contract bridge, followed by a nap.
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"Can't you just leave it?" the new Jewish mother asks - umbilical cord.
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The shivah visit: so sorry about your loss. Now back to my problems.
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Our youngest daughter, our most precious jewel. Hence the name, Tiffany.
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Mom, please! There is no need to put that dinner roll in your pocketbook.
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Seven-foot Jews in the NBA slam-dunking! My alarm clock rings.
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Concert of car horns as we debate the question of when to change lanes.
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Sorry I'm not home to take your call. At the tone please state your bad news
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Is one Nobel Prize so much to ask from a child after all I've done?
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Today, mild shvitzing. Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz. Five-day forecast: feh
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Left the door open. for the Prophet Elijah. Now our cat is gone.
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Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt. Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Tochis. Oy! To be fluent!
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Quietly murmured at Saturday services, Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.
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A lovely nose ring -- excuse me while I put my head in the oven.
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Hard to tell under the lights--white Yarmulke or male-pattern baldness
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