Reply #23: I don't think of it as a hard and fast obligation.

[Bouncy Ball]

I am obligated to feed her, clothe her, shelter her, make sure she gets to school, teach her things, keep her healthy and safe, love her, etc. Not *obligated* to send her to college.

That being said, I AM going to pay for it. All of it. However far she goes--grad school, med school, law school, whatever.

She's our only child. She's incredibly bright, creative, resourceful. We've impressed upon her that the world is her oyster, that she can and should shoot for the moon--Ivy leagues, small, private schools, out of state, out of country, whatever she wants and gets into. We will pay for it.

We have money set aside (she's in fourth grade). We've told her if she gets scholarships and/or grants, etc. the money set aside can go to buying a laptop, car (if she's at a university where she needs one, most likely she won't be), saving for her future (down payment on a house, wedding, etc.). So that motivates her to do well enough to get scholarships.

Every generation wants their kids to go further. I am no exception. I always knew I was going to college, but I was restricted (for financial reasons) to in state and public. I want no such restrictions on her. My husband and I will work three jobs each if need be. His parents are wealthy and have told us they'd be more than happy to pitch in (she is their only grandchild).

That's not to say she won't have a part-time job in school. Or that she has everything handed to her, not at all. But we've encouraged her to reach sky high. We said "you get in, we'll pay."

If we had more than one child, I'm not so sure we'd say such things.