Reply #8: You managed to capture some of my favorite lines!

[progmom]

I am often found muttering: "Charm, use your charm..."

Also:

"Eunice? That's a person named Eunice?"

"I am not "A Eunice Burns", I am THE Eunice Burns!"

Eunice: Don't you know the meaning of "propriety"?
Judy: Propriety; noun: conformity to established standards of behavior or manner, suitability, rightness, or justice. See "etiquette."

“Sure, it’s easy for you, everywhere you go another heart broken—women, women, women!—you call it joking, Eunice and I we call it lust!”

"I'm not repeating myself. I'm not repeating myself. Oh, God, I'm repeating myself."

Howard walks into the hotel gift shop, wanders around, picks up a big rock (souvenir of Alcatraz) and starts tapping it with a tuning fork
Judy: What's up, Doc?
Howard: I beg your pardon?
Judy: We gotta stop meeting like this.
Howard: I think you've made a mistake. You see, I only came in here for something for a headache.
Judy: You're gonna need an awful big glass of water to get that down.
Howard: What? No, you see I was just testing this specimen for inherent tonal qualities. I have this theory about early man's musical relationship to igneous rock formations. But I guess you're not interested in igneous rock formations.
Judy: About as much as I am in the sedimentary or metamorphic rock categories. I mean, I can take your igneous rocks or leave 'em. I relate primarily to micas, quartz, feldspar. You can keep your Pyroxenes, magnetites and coarse grain granites as far as I'm concerned.
Howard: I forgot why I came in here.
Judy: Headache.


Mrs. Van Hoskins: Hello Hans.
Fritz: Fritz!
Mrs. Van Hoskins: What happened to Hans?
Fritz: There is no Hans. Only me, Fritz.
Mrs. Van Hoskins: Oh, what a shame.

“You go right down to her room, right, and you knock on the door, OK, and she answers the door. Now she will have been crying, so her eyes will be all puffy and bloodshot, you know, and her nose is all red and running, but you overlook that! You put your hand on her shoulder, and you’ll stare purposefully into those red-rimmed swollen eyes and say in a calm, masculine voice: ‘Eunice, my dear, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I’ve acted like a, a cad, a bounder, but now I see everything clearly...and I have decided that Judy and I are going to put you into a home.’ ”


Howard: " What do you think you are doing?'
Judy: " I think I am taking a bath aren't I?"
Howard: " I am serious. If you aren't out of here in five minutes I am calling the police"
Judy: " Who do you thing they'll arest, the girl in the tub or the guy with his pants down?"
Howard: " I am not kidding. You are the straw that breaks my camel's back. You are the plague. You bring havoc and chaos to everyone but why to me why why"
Judy: " Beacause you look cute in your pajamas Steve"