calling all family advice givers

[steely]

I got a wierd situation, and I can't sleep, so if yer bored, and I'm still awake, I'd appreciate your thoughts.
Wife's P divorced ~20 yrs ago, her siblings took sides - one of the siblings had a baby, and he & his family moved away w/dad never to be heard from again.

Ten yrs later, wifey and I get a pleasant email from a girl identifying herself as our niece - we commence to corresspond tactfully and on rare occassions.

Later still, we meet her, at her request - a shy, beautiful young kid who seems interested in the family - from the stand point that she likes to see us (now avergaing once a year). The thing is - it boggles my mind. She never asks questions or starts a conversation - just sort of hangs w/us for a couple of hours.

Now I tend to over analyze - is she looking for answers? I guess she wasn't poisoned by her P's against us? Is someone pushing her? What was she told of the break up? Do we offer unsolicited (albeit unintentionally biased) info on the state of how things came to be? WTF?

I'm glad she's in touch w/ us, don't get me wrong, it's just that there s this elephant in the livingroom so to speak. We never knock her P's. All conversations revolve around school and other light topics, but it's like...we don't really know each other - is it me or what?

Thanks