Reply #35: We've been married for 13 years and are quite happy

[Bouncy Ball]

here's what we do:

1. Money is TOTALLY SEPARATE. I have my paycheck, he has his. I have my checking account and savings account, he has his. We do have a joint savings account, too. I have my bills, he has his bills. As long as we each pay our bills and puts a predetermined amount into the joint savings account, we couldn't care less what the other does with their leftover money. This saved our marriage.

2. If one person doesn't feel like talking about what's bothering them right now, respect that and leave them alone. It took me years to learn that one (he's usually the one that needs time to talk about things). But it's worth it, because pestering the other to talk about it RIGHT NOW only escalates things.

3. Time together, sans kid, is not a nicety, it is a requirement. We have no set schedule, but we do NOT neglect this.

That's about it. It works for us. Oh and no one's afraid of anyone else in this marriage, I can't imagine that.