"Eyesroll Visits The Vintage Store"

[eyesroll]

OK, so my husband, my mother-in-law, and I went to lunch at a lovely Mexican restaurant Saturday. It's really quite tasty -- if any of y'all are in our town sometime, we'll take you there. Order the "Tacos de Tio Israel." Anyhow.

We decided to walk off way too many tortilla chips by patronizing some of the fine retail establishments along that street. We went up to a vintage store (where I eventually bought a great gunmetal-blue leather trench coat for $35 -- $35!!! -- but I digress).

We browsed a bit, made fun of some of the hats, held up some outfits and determined that even though they were $17, they were still ugly as sin or way too small or both.

Now, as many of you probably know, since I've been prattling on about it all damn summer, I've developed a bit of a wandering eye for members of the female gender. (So has my husband, but that's kind of a given.)

Well, ladies and gentleman, for the first time ever...my husband and I began checking out the same young woman at the same time. I do have a bit of an Inner Sexist Pig, and my Inner Sexist Pig would like to state, for the record, that the clerk at the vintage store was quite a fine-looking young woman with many admirable qualities. Yes, quite a fine-looking young woman, with just-sort-of-messed up hair, and a little blue tattoo peeking out from her jeans, and fabulous ... oh. Right. The story.

I did mention my mother-in-law was there, right?

So, we've got me, making moon-eyes like a 13-year-old at this fine-looking young woman with many admirable qualities. We've got my husband, doing same but more subtly, since he's got, well, 29 years of experience at this that I don't. We've got the store clerk herself, to whom I suddenly developed an utter inability to communicate, and she's trying to sell me a great gunmetal-blue leather trench coat (did I mention it was $35?). We've got "I Feel For You" booming on the radio, Chaka Kahn let me rock you Chaka Kahn.

And then, we've got my mother-in-law, buying purses and either (oh, I hope to god) not noticing or at least pretending to not notice, and me doing my damnedest to ensure she didn't notice while my husband was not doing a very good job of trying his damndest to not begin laughing his ass off.

For the record, I'm pretty sure the fine-looking young woman with many admirable qualities noticed. It's not every day you get a grown adult in your store who can't seem to find a reasonable answer for, "can I help you find anything?"

So...that was my weekend. I suppose it could have been worse -- it could have been my own parents there, or I could have started singing Chaka Kahn let me rock you Chaka Kahn, which would have been bad for many, many reasons.

And I did get a great gunmetal-blue leather trench coat, for $35.

Hmm. I do need some fall clothes, and I do have some money left over...think I'd look good in 1970s tweed?