Reply #109: Correct

[Robert Cooper]

"There's no "failing grade" and that's a good thing?"

Absolutely. The only real "failing grade" is giving up. As long as we continue to try to master a subject, failure doesn't enter into the picture.

Consider the child learning to walk. Do we describe each time they stumble and fall as a "failure"? Do we blame the child or give up on them ever learning sufficient agility? Do they?

It's the same with everything else. A child motivated to learn will eventually master the material. Without artificial schedules such as exist in the PS system, "failure" never enters the equation. The child learns at their own pace, without anxiety.

"You fail. You find out what you didn't do to pass. You hit the books. Get a tutor. And you try again. And pass."

And this is part of what discourages kids: the label "failure". It is punitive, insulting, and unhelpful. "You find out what you didn't do to pass. You hit the books. Get a tutor. And you try again. And pass" can all be done without the stigma of "failure". Children can be motivated in a positive and constructive way to want to learn, to use the challenge of the unknown to fuel their curiousity. They don't need the threat of being branded a "failure" to motivate them.

But because of the assembly-line nature of the PS system, with it's artificial schedules necessary to get kids from one grade to the next, we manufacture 'judgment days' call report cards/exams where a child learns whether they succeed or fail.

That isn't about educating all kids to succeed. That's about judging kids "smart" or "stupid" depending upon how much they learned in the limited time allowed them.

Education shouldn't be a competition. It should be a right, guaranteed 100% effort till the child develops their full potential.

"Sure. Offer encouragement. But life involves tests. Life involves meeting requirements and standards that show a person can adequately perform their responsibilities."

So if a child fails they should be condemned to a lifetime of poverty and/or crime?

Harsh judgment, far too harsh for my tastes. Given the cost to society in welfare and law enforcement, and the self-perpetuating nature of the problem, I'd rather not give up on someone who fails a test.

"And accepting authority is also part of life. Unless your child will never have a boss. (possible). Never serve in the military. (like my son, a Marine with two tours in Iraq). Play sports. Attend college. Or learn from someone other than yourself."

Oh I really don't think it will be as bad as all that. Certainly my son is going to learn ethics and philosophy, and will certainly come to appreciate the way our society is structured and what is expected. But he will also have an understanding of what kind of treatment he should expect and what to do when it doesn't happen.

He will be street-proofed against the abuse of authority, a valuable skill I think all kids should learn.

"You want to protect your child. That's certainly commendable. But, as parents, we have to understand that the child is an individual. We don't own the child. And learning how to handle risks, interact with different kinds of people, and accept challenge is part of the normal growing up process."

True, but we don't throw them into the swimming pool and say "hope you learn to swim". Parents are a child's #1 support network (or should be). We bring them into the world and it is our responsibility to prepare them for the world. I see nothing wrong in teaching them about the world, other people, their expectations and their behaviour before expecting kids to enter the world solo.

By contrast, the PS system expects them to fly solo at 6, maybe younger if they have Pre-K. 6 is far too young for some (and I dare say most if not all) to be flying solo.

"Even having a "bad" teacher is learning. Later, we sometimes have "bad" bosses. But we don't just walk away. We've learned how to handle difficult people...and adapt and excel."

Well obviously that's not true in the general sense. There are lots of people who don't excel.

"Your child is not going to leave you for a perfect world. It's rough. And your comfortable environment with only praise might not be the best preparation for reality."

In ancient Sparta they used to cast out the adolescent males, forcing them to scrounge for themselves. There was no penalty for stealing unless they got caught. This was to toughen them up for their 'real world'. Some of them froze to death, some died of hunger. Some of them were killed by wild animals.

Indeed it is a rough world out there, all the more reason to take more time preparing our children to enter that world with their eyes open and options in hand for responding to the dangers the world presents.

Throwing them out at an age too young to understand the concepts is unfair to the kids. Given that not all teachers are above ego-tripping, I'd rather they not trip over my son (or anyone else's kid, but I have no control over that). Add to this the other kids whose poor behaviour reflects their emotional need for attention and I really think my son can do without the trauma of watching other kids misbehave.

He can learn more about respect, compassion, generosity, sharing, and responsibility from an adult who loves him than any number of kids dealing with the separation from their Number One support groups.