Support Our Troops!

[porphyrian]

I've decided to go along with the republicans on how to support our troops, since so many people keep saying the Democrats aren't. Hey, I'm just that kind of follower. So, without further ado, here are the ways I'm going to support our troops!

1) Cut veterans' benefits to help pay for enormous wartime tax breaks for the smallest minority of Americans (the rich), most of whom never were and never will be our troops. I list this one first, because it seems the most logical.

2) Threaten and bully everyone who questions any actions of the current administration, as they are obviously trying to hurt our troops. After all, the troops are trying very hard to believe what they are being told despite the evidence, and they don't need anyone adding to the confusion with more distracting facts.

3) Send the smallest number of troops possible, poorly equip them, and keep them on duty at least four times as long as they should be. Our troops can't stand feeling that their task isn't extremely hard and nearly interminable, and their feelings is what this is all about.

4) Buy every nationalist fad bit of paraphernalia available, from flag stickers with "9/11" on them to red, white and blue bracelets. Nothing helps support our troops more than making novelty entrepreneurs rich.

5) Bury all the troops they send home dead secretly, with no media coverage or Presidential audience. After all, their family will still get their flag, and that's one less veteran we have to hear crying about not getting health care.

I'm sure there are more. Please feel free to add any I haven't listed yet.