Sorry, NO FLOWERS FOR JANEANE...here's why

[CaptainMidnight]

Hey there,

I Just got wind of this idea, and a PM in my inbox, asking me to enable a delivery of flowers to Janeane Garofalo, or some such token of our appreciation here at DU regarding her rockin' week on CROSSFIRE.

Many of you know that I know her, I'm in touch with her. There was also this thread suggesting it:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=211936#213177

Not sure how to proceed, tho...my response to this idea started out like this...

" If something comes together, it'd have to come together real soon. I"m here in LA, and right now it's 225am. If someone wanted to get together funds to buy her flowers, and have them sent to her, I can provide you with where she is staying.

I'm assuming, since tomorrow's her last show, that she'd be leaving wherever she is staying very soon, either before taping the show, or some time after. I know she lives in NYC, I am not willing to provide a home address.

I dont' have PayPal, nor do I have a decent bank balance at the moment (Captain Mike, in a sharp contrast to Janeane, is a stark portrait of the OTHER side of show biz)...

BUT, if someone here got the gumption to call FTD, have flowers delivered to her agency in NYC, include a card that said something like, "WELL DONE! from the gang at Democratic Underground," I know I'd be willing, poor as I am, to whip out my wallet and send the perpetrator of such, five measly bucks!""

Then, I thought about it for a bit....

That all being said, I'm starting to realize, I DON'T KNOW ANY OF YOU, PERSONALLY. I wanna believe the idea is a pure one, but let's face it, in Bush/Aschroft's America, any one of you proposing such an idea might be doing so for less than savory reasons. I'm sorry to have to type this, but here at DU, I've been warned by many to "watch it" when it comes to providing personal info. I dont' doubt that there are "spooks" or "freepers" here who would be more than willing to locate Janeane's whereabouts at any given point and do something to either upset her, sabotage her last day on CROSSFIRE, or worse.

Janeane's done some real damage this week to the Right Wing and the Bush Cabal. Huzzah! But let's look over our shoulders, now...

I almost provided someone here with my home address so they could send me some "evidence" regarding something I was investigating, until I was STOPPED by folks who'd been here longer, and knew better.

I've already gone into it months ago, in some long ago post, but ever since I met Janeane while we both were performing at the Aspen Comedy Festival, and then I excitedly brayed about such and posted my pix with her here, that's when I started getting fucked with.

I have a daily political email blog, "The Captain's List," which I send out daily, if not even more often. It's up to 80 members now. Once I'd made it known that I was friends with Janeane, had provided her with some 9-11 stuff, Bush stuff, Scarborough stuff that even SHE didn't know about, and indeed, I publicly brayed here and on my email blog about my setting up an interview with her at BUZZFLASH, and then I introduced her to Symbolman at TAKE BACK THE MEDIA where she joined their Advisory Board...that's when I became more "known" on the internet political beat, and in all likelihood, became an Ashcroftian "person of interest." Then bad shit started for me.

First my email got hacked, my email was getting intercepted, taking hours to reach me after hitting SEND; members of the Captain's List, to this day, still aren't getting my bulletins sometimes, and just today my mom, who's on my List, commented on an email sent to me that I NEVER got. Also, my Earthlink was fucked with, and they cancelled my account, insisting that I called them to cancel it, then couldnt' find the order, but I lost email for a few days, and my DSL was unhooked for TWO MONTHS!

My Mac started going haywire, and I had to trash my corrupted files, which, I kid you not, mostly resided in a folder on my hard drive that I'd labelled POLITICAL. One particular corrupted file was labelled WELLSTONE MURDER. Coincidence? Then my phone got tapped. I kid you not. It was pretty obvious, too. All the usual symptoms you hear about. Odd clickings, sound drop-outs, literally the sound of someone picking up another phone in another part of my shared house, when my phone line was a private one, sometimes even hearing what sounded like background office noise under the dial tone before I'd even dial. I mean, it was friggin lame!

Okay, here's the tinfoil part, so you can believe it's related or not. I don't know. I'm a bit active in LA nightlife, out here. There's regular bars and clubs I like to go to, and I usually hit diners in the wee hours after, and strike up lunch counter conversations. Again, maybe coincidence, but I found people coming up to me more than the usual, "hey, wassup," and engaging me in conversation, and either bringing up 9-11, Bush, etc., or whatever, and asking me what I thought about it and what I believed. I don't know about you guys, but I find it usually hard to engage anyone out here in a conversation about that stuff, and initially, I was thrilled that so many people seemed to be so curious. Then I got dosed.

One night, at one of my hangouts, I got slipped the date rape drug in my drink, and I still dont' remember all the details. Luckily, I woke up in my own bed, but it was like a curtain came down on me after being at the bar for only half an hour. Luckily, there were folks there that were watching my back, and noticed me stumbling around, not "acting like" me. I'm told they found me out in the middle of the intersection near the bar, trying to hail a non-existant cab, and that a guy I know (a Republican I often parried with) carried me to this lady's car who i didn't even know, but she sorta had seen me around the club, and drove me home. I remember none of this. I was just fried for about 3 days, and took a week to feel right again. I certainly couldn't send out The Captain's List for a few days.

Okay, now, we know the date rape drug, whatever it is, is sorta popular these days, with kids taking it voluntarily, and sociopathic loser guys like that Max Factor heir using it to take advantage of women. But I"m a guy. And I wasn't in a gay bar, okay, so it's not like some guy was trying to trick me into bed. Maybe it was just someone being a jerk, someone wanting to fuck with anybody. But again, this happened on the heels of all this other stuff happening, starting with my email problems.

The main reason even I MYSELF dont' wanna believe I'm being targeted is that I think I'm such small fish to go after. Maybe my suddenly knowing Janeane and helping her "spread the good word" suddenly made me more of a threat, because I was gaining in my potential "influence." Even a positive incident sorta jolted me as to my new-found "name recognition." I mean, if I was being fucked with, I think THOSE GUYS are the ones who are paranoid, ya know?

I was at the screening of the 9-11 documentary, AFTERMATH in San Francisco, and was asked to address the pre-screening reception crowd, which included the guest of honor, Mike Ruppert, Peter Dale Scott, Kyle Hence, Barry Zwicker. I got up there and rambled into the mike for about 5-10 minutes, got lotsa laughs, and I guess I made an impression. But when I walked away, I was surprised at how many people "knew" me, "Oh, YOU'RE Captain Midnight! I read your stuff at DU," "I've had your stuff forwarded to me...etc." I was pleased but taken aback. Oh, and to brag a bit, Peter Dale Scott came up to me, touched my arm and said, "I really loved what you said."

So, many of you may think I'm being paranoid, but I went into this long and windy tale to let you know why I'm so cautious about providing a faceless stranger here with Janeane's exact whereabouts and when. These are the times we live in, and I"m gonna err on the side of being protective of Janeane. Not cuz "Hey, I saw her first!" and I wanna keep her to myself or inflate my importance by acting like some sorta "gatekeeper," doling out what little access I have to her when I bloody well feel like it.

I never used to be this cautious about anything. Hey, I'm an actor, an artist, and I'm not into being a cautious guy, nor have I ever thought people were out to get me, until The Bush Cabal assumed office and started their reign of terror, from the stolen election, to 9-11, to the Anthrax attacks, to Wellstone's plane, to journalists and whistleblowers with the goods on Georgie Boy "committing suicide," to "watch what you say," to the things that have happened to ME...they might still be the work of some ordinary Joe "patriot" who wants to fuck me up, and not necessarily that of, uh...government goons.

But again, with all-of-the-above happening in this country ever since a certain spoiled brat took office, I don't find it curious at all why the Democrats have become so spineless.

So far, the shit that's happened to me has only sharpened my resolve. I can take it. But I think I'd die if I mistakenly enabled some creep to fuck with Janeane. If something really bad happened to me, now or in the future, that wouldn't be of significance to the "movement" at large, much less register on anyone's radar screen.

But if something bad happend to Janeane, I think it'd be monstrously bad for the progressive movement and incredibly disheartening, and take the wind out of our collective sails. Aside from being a horrible fucking tragedy!

Melodramatic of me to consider this? I mean, who thought they'd whack Wellstone? SO as long as Bush is President, Ashcroft is out there flogging his new Liberty Act, and all other such attacks on our Democracy from within continue to remain "unsolved," I will remain a little extra-protective of my very small influence with Janeane.

In my own little pathetic and insignificant way, much like Albert Brooks with his newly-added shoulder pads in BROADCAST NEWS, "I'm just gonna stand here, guarding this corner." If ever called upon, I will be Janeane's royal food taster, her virtual Rosie Grier, walking through doors before she does.

Yeah, do I sound like a melodramatic dolt and romantic idiot for dramatizing a single request to send Janeane flowers? Yeah, I do. Maybe it's the fact that it's 4am right now, and I'm still awake, listening to Bill Evans, nursing some very cheap wine...But c'mon, she certainly inspires such feelings in just about all of us.

Doesn't she?

Captain Mike