Reply #77: Well, all right, pardner...

[Crankie Avalon]

...I've enjoyed jawifying with y'all, too.

Shooot, it's been more fun than Hog Branding Day!

I suppose now might be a good time to try and git somethin' straightered out that has popped up now and again durin' this give-and-take diabologue we've been having...

Some o’ y’all have implicatered your thoughts that I might not really be who I say I am--that I’m not really the President of the United States. That I'm a fraud. Or, on the other hand, an imposterior.

Well, let me say, I can understandardize where y’all are coming from on that. Fer a while there, I had trouble believing I was the President, myself. I mean, didn’t I git a smaller vocentage than the other feller?

Well, my staff assuranced me that there’s something in the U.S. Constupation about how Presidents are actually chosen in a place called the Electorial College rather than by any direct votering of the ‘Merkan People. So, maybe the ol’ Constupation isn’t as bad as Ashcroft thinks, after all? Anyway, I’d never heard of this “Electorial College” before (I’m a Yalie, myself)--but I know which school’s sports teams I’ll be rooterin’ fer from now on!

Anyways, the last election shore was a close one, however y’all slysicate it. Made fer a lot o’, shall we say, hair raisining moments, to say the most least. That’s why I’m workin’ so hard with y’all folks, here, now--after all, no matter what yer political persuasiance, I’m shore we’d all like to avoid havin’ another Presidentiary election that has to come down to bein' decided by a razor-fin, controversical 5-4 vote...

That’s why, this time, I and my Administragion are shootin’ for a landslide, runaway, mandate-inducifying vote of 6-3!

Such an outcome will allowance us to really experience the compassionate conperverted agenda and teach America a lesson she'll never forget!

Till then, may God bless the United States of America, and may God bless all of you...unless you’re one o’ the folks Jesus told me about.

Thank you.