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I think. I haven't gotten past the hating them part yet!
But based on alcoholism as a disease, when the family member stops being angry at the alcoholic and stops trying to change and control the alcoholic, the family members gets better and regains their personal power. Their behavior forces the alcoholic to accept responsibility for his own screw ups and he has to face his own problems. More or less how it works.
So, yeah, maybe we need to just stop trying to change these freakazoids and become happy, healthy and strong ourselves!!!!
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