Everyone is Out to Get Them. - Ever notice Conservatives are paranoid?

[Mugsy]

via "Mugsy's Rap Sheet":

Everyone is Out to Get Them. - Ever notice Conservatives are paranoid?

Websters dictionary defines "paranoid" as "characterized by suspiciousness, and an overwhelming sense of persecution."

On last Friday's NBC's Nightly News, anchor Brian Williams interviewed John McCain, where he gave a speech at the 40th anniversary vigil of Martin Luther King Jr. outside the former Lorraine Motel where King was murdered. A speech was being delivered behind them on the loudspeaker that all but drowned out the interview (I'll be including the segment in a future video):



Williams explained that they were promised a quiet remembrance would be taking place during the interview, but instead, they found themselves competing with a impassioned speech before a boisterous crowd. In the days before, NBC interviewed Clinton and Obama in nice quiet rooms where you could hear every word. Republican viewers were quick to notice, and NBC received so much angry email over the McCain interview that Williams was forced to respond on air the following Monday:

"UNFAIR!
You allowed Senators Clinton and Obama to give an intelligible speech on your program while having Senator McCain drowned out by noise so no one could hear him.
BIAS!"


"This is another example of the liberal media in our face. I shall find my news elsewhere -- not on NBC."


So I'm listening to this nonsense, and it had me thinking once again about my frequent observation that "Conservatism is a mental disorder". I've never seen any group of people with such a deep...and totally baseless... inferiority complex as Conservative Republicans. They see biases where there are none. The world is out to get them. It's "right-thinking" them against the "permissive Librul" world that wants everyone to smoke pot and have lesbians pass out condoms to 2nd graders.

Here are my Top Ten things Conservative Republicans are scared to death of (some of the links are quite funny):

1. First, it was Communism. Ronald Reagan is their hero from saving us from "the Godless Commies!"


2. Today, it's terrorists... namely fighting them in Baghdad so we don't have to fight them on the mean streets of Gary, Indiana.


3. Iran, they want to give nuclear bombs to Osama bin Laden. The fact Iran is Shi'ite and al Qaeda is Sunni... the "Hatfield's & McCoy's" of the Middle East... is of no concern to them. Them A'rabs all stick together, ya'know. And beware, because you know Barack Osama is a secret Muslim. Don't let the hysteria over the rantings of his Christian Minister for the past twenty years fool you!


4. The "liberul media"... the one that refuses to tell us about all the "good" happening in Iraq... like Fox does (actually, Fox doesn't; covering Iraq less than any other network.)


5. Mexicans... illegal immigrants especially, causing crime, stealing our jobs, signing up for welfare & food stamps (note: they take our jobs AND apply for welfare), and, worst of all, refuse to speak English. They want to turn America into another Mexico.


6. The Gays and their "Gay Agenda": to lure your children into the homosexual lifestyle... an abomination in the face of God. Allowing gays to marry belittles the institution of marriage. However, Britney Spears getting married & divorced in a 24 hour period apparently doesn't.


7. Oh, and there's a "War on Christmas", too! If the 18 year old sales-girl can't tell if you're Jewish, Muslim or Catholic, and dare use the generic "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" to avoid offending customers, it's because the company told her to in order to push their "Liberal secularist agenda" upon poor oppressed God-fearing Christians.


8. "Socialized Medicine" - cut-rate medical care brought to you by the people that gave us the DMV.


9. Hysteria over "Global Warming" will bankrupt American businesses with all the costly new regulations they'll be forced to pay for. Millions of jobs will be lost as coal, oil and gasoline industries are abolished overnight. If the "Libruls" have their way, we'll all be lighting our homes with solar powered flashlights.


10. Having their guns taken away... probably the closest thing panic-stricken Conservative have to a Security blanket. When you live in constant fear of the outside world, having more guns than Cheeto crumbs in your beard is an absolute must.

These same Conservatives that once told us never to trust the Federal Government, now allow them to wiretap our phones and search our homes without a warrant, arrest American citizens without due process, and engage in "Nation Building" (once synonymous with "Democratic President") at a cost of $356 million dollars a day.

PLEASE! PROTECT ME FROM THE EVIL-DOERS! TAP MY PHONES! READ MY MAIL! WHATEVER YOU WANT! JUST DON'T TAKE MY GUNS AWAY!

Liberals & Progressives believe that people are basically good. That restrictions should be placed on corporations so that they don't infringe on the rights of people.

Conservatives believe the exact opposite: that people are, at their core, evil, and left unchecked, will commit evil... and when it comes to Republicans, maybe they have a point. When the Republicans controlled Congress, they allowed President Bush unchecked power, signing statements that circumvented the very bills he was signing into law, his Administration crafted The Patriot Act, that gave the President unheard of unconstitutional power; to tap our phones without a warrant and even arrest an American citizen and hold them for years without charge, never even seeing a lawyer. Conservatives therefore believe in mechanized "systems"... like "Capitalism" and "the free market"... that on their own with no human interference, will always end up producing the desired outcome.

People are "evil", but companies simply do what the free market asks of them with no agenda of their own. Saddam = person = evil. Contractors in Iraq = "free enterprise" = pure capitalism with no agenda of their own except to make a profit, and therefore, "good". Conservatives believe it is "people" who must be regulated, not corporations.

This also helps explain why "religion" is such a big part of the Republican platform. "People are Evil", and without constant oversight, will engage in subversive behavior. Having an "all seeing, all knowing God" watching your every move and threatening you with punishment ("eternal damnation") if you misbehave, by a God with no agenda, free of humanly frailties, matches up very nicely with the Conservative belief that people, left unchecked, will choose to do bad things.

Suddenly, we've come full circle. Constant oversight, constant monitoring, threat of unimaginable punishment if you "misbehaves"... sound like any Administration you might know?

And you wonder why this country is so screwed up? Just look at the people in charge: paranoid, xenophobic, racist, homophones that believe the worst in people.

If you enjoyed this piece, please K&R. Thanks!