Reply #10: The only line in this piece that bothers me is this one:

[IdaBriggs]

* "You’ll change your mind." Isn’t it possible that as an adult, I’ve learned how to make a decision and stick to it? ...........(more)

Because frankly, people *do* change their minds so often its nearly a stereotype. Part of this (I think) is a hormonal shift that happens, part of it can be lifestyle related, part of it can be something small where one partner is 'going along' waiting for the other person to change their mind, or even when someone is not being as honest with themselves as they should be, or they experience a life changing something, or get therapy and realize they don't have to be their parents so they live their own version of a rich and full life, or whatever --

My point is that there is nothing wrong with changing your mind. The problems occur because women do have a limited window, and then the choice gets taken away by nature, which most women don't seem to understand because they see celebrities having (donor egg) babies, or have relatives who had later-in-life babies.

There is nothing wrong with changing your mind; people who get defensive about it usually come across kind of silly, especially if later they *do* change their mind.

Personally, I abide by the following philosophy: any woman who gets super adamant/sanctimonious/self-righteous about *NOT* taking drugs during childbirth *before experiencing childbirth* gets the following speech -- "I support whatever you decide, and it seems like this is important to you, but remember, if you change your mind, its really not that big of a deal. Remember that *you* are in charge of this, and changing your mind is okay, too."

I'm told it helped a friend or two, when they started worrying that people would judge them for having been militantly anti-drug before 30 hours of labor changed their mind. I feel the same way about folks who change their mind about kids, too. (Altho to be fair, I've been enjoying the heck out of teasing a friend who worried that having a boy would be awful -- apparently he likes the kid now! LOL!) ON EDIT: And I think it should be same for people who 'don't' want children until they change their mind *IF* they change their mind.

Also, the person writing this post on alternet needs to understand that asking about kids is simply a way of determining if there is a shared experience in common. Personally, I am in a life stage where my two-year olds are the center of my world (as they should be at this stage of their development), and most other parents who've 'been there/done that' get it. I was just reminded today of how short the time period is, and how quickly it goes, and that I should be savoring the moment. Personally, I am savoring, but I support the choices other people make, too.