Reply #73: sometimes

[d_r]

I used to live in Michigan and I have a good friend and mentor, who is a pretty well known author in education. At the time we lived a few blocks from a terribly struggling elementary school in downtown Lansing Mi. Michigan had schools of choice - which means you can choose to go to a different school system. One of the central values we have had for our children is that they grow up experiencing a diverse world, and are around people from all backgrounds. We knew we would never send our kids "out in the county" to a 99% white school, but we found ourselves struggling with wanting to send our kids to school in East Lansing. It was still very diverse racially, and somewhat economically, but not the same sort of poverty as the school that was blocks away, next door to a GM plant was. But there were so many opportunities in the East Lansing schools. My mentor said "you can't sacrifice your kids to prove how progressive you are." It was an important point. When we moved here to Chattanooga TN we wanted our children to go to public schools, so we carefully picked the neighborhood that would be most progressive, if that makes sense. Every town has one.

I understand what you are saying. I have good friends in Auburn whose son is one year older than mine and was in cub scouts last year. They are liberal good folks. I told them I didn't think I was going to let my son do it the next year, and they admitted they really struggled with it, but that it was such a big thing for him that ultimately they decided to. It really surprised me, because they have always been huge advocates for gay equality; but they said "you know, you have more of a chance to change something from the inside." Now, Auburn city isn't like the rest of Alabama, I know that. And our neighborhood in N. Chattanooga isn't like the rest of the region. If we were living in an area where I knew that the majority of the cub scout parents would be regressive, I don't know if I could have done it. But we are letting our son be a Tiger Cub. And honestly I think it is a good thing for him. He really did need the peer experiences. It has been such a bid deal for him. But like I said above, the parents in this group are just slackers letting the kids have a good time.

I feel for you man. You must have some pretty negative folks around you for you to know that you had to say no to your son that quickly. I know that has to be tough.