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Dear Diary,
Osama here!
WHAT. A. DAY! The neighborhood kid kicked his soccer ball over our fence again -- destroying my newly purchased life-sized statue of Genghis Khan! What is it with kids these days and their total lack of respect for other people's property? That thing cost me a lot of cha-ching and now it's shattered into pieces on our lanai.
The cable we were stealing from the Pakistani military base down the street cut in and out during my favorite episode of Who's the Boss. It's the one where Angela's ex returns, announces he's marrying again and THEN tells Angela he wants Jonathan to move in with him! The gal of that man! Of course, it all goes to mess when Jonathan throws up all over the place during the wedding ceremony.
Those crazy Bowers!
Anyway, I got to get to bed! I've got a big day tomorrow...Asif Ali Zardari is coming over to watch the Big Game! GO GREENSHIRTS!
Yours always,
Osama
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