Reply #140: I give my dogs baths regularly.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

They also immediately go outside and roll around in filth- regularly.

"Second, you should train your dog to stay off the furniture."

I could do that. But then I feel like a hypocrite.

"Dogs are only as unclean as you allow them to be."

Uncleanliness is a dog's natural state. It's a beautiful thing. I could keep my dog spotlessly clean, take it to the groomers, do the whole Paris Hilton dog-as-fashion-symbol thing. But if I wanted that I wouldn't really want a dog. Be better to just go for a plush animal. Or maybe one of those new robot dogs from Japan.