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Sapphire Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-23-08 01:04 PM
Original message
"Until this country comes to terms with its culpability in allowing widespread poverty to exist,
... poor black mothers will continue to lose their children to the state. And we will continue to label these women "bad mothers" to assuage our own guilt." - Gaylynn Burroughs



Too Poor to Parent?
By Gaylynn Burroughs, Ms. Magazine. Posted May 23, 2008.


When a recurrent plumbing problem in an upstairs unit caused raw sewage to seep into her New York City apartment, 22-year-old Lisa called social services for help. She had repeatedly asked her landlord to fix the problem, but he had been unresponsive. Now the smell was unbearable, and Lisa feared for the health and safety of her two young children.

When the caseworker arrived, she observed that the apartment had no lights and that food was spoiling in the refrigerator. Lisa explained that she did not have the money to pay her electric bill that month, but would have the money in a few weeks. She asked whether the caseworker could help get them into a family shelter. The caseworker promised she would help -- but left Lisa in the apartment and took the children, who were then placed in foster care.

Months later, the apartment is cleaned up. Lisa still does not have her children.

~ snip ~

But when state child-welfare workers come to remove children from black mothers' homes, they rarely cite poverty as the factor putting a child at risk. Instead, these mothers are told that they neglected their children by failing to provide adequate food, clothing, shelter, education or medical care. The failure is always personal, and these mothers and children are almost always made to suffer individually for the consequences of one of the United States' most pressing social problems.

The legal system often provides no haven for these parents. Based on even the flimsiest allegations, they are essentially presumed guilty and pressured to participate in various cookie-cutter services that often do not directly address the concerns that brought them to court. For example, after her children went into foster care, Lisa was asked to attend parenting classes, undergo a mental health evaluation, seek therapy and submit to random drug testing before her children could be returned. But child-welfare authorities did not assist her in repairing her home or finding a new apartment, nor have they gone after her landlord for allowing deplorable conditions.

Race and poverty should not be a barrier to raising one's children. But in order to prevent the entry of poor children into the foster care system, state and federal government must confront poverty-related issues. Until this country comes to terms with its culpability in allowing widespread poverty to exist, poor black mothers will continue to lose their children to the state. And we will continue to label these women "bad mothers" to assuage our own guilt.


(Gaylynn Burroughs is a staff attorney at the Bronx Defenders in New York City. She works in the family defense practice, where she represents parents accused of child neglect.)

http://www.alternet.org/reproductivejustice/85281/


"Until this country comes to terms with its culpability in allowing widespread poverty to exist, poor black mothers will continue to lose their children to the state."


And people will continue to be hungry.

And people will continue to be homeless.

And people will continue to go without medical care.

AND PEOPLE WILL CONTINUE TO DIE ON THE STREETS OF AMERICA.

"And we will continue to label these women "bad mothers" ", we will continue to label homeless people as drug addicts, drunks, mentally ill, or just too damn lazy to pull themselves up by their (NONEXISTENT) bootstraps... all these labels "to assuage our own guilt."


I think it's time for this country to come to terms with its culpability in allowing widespread poverty to exist; don't you?


Indigo Blue (Sapphire Blue)

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Hydra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-23-08 01:35 PM
Response to Original message
1. "Poverty?! There's no poverty in America! Only the lazy people don't have enough!"
There are lots of people with a vested interest in keeping other people poor. Consider how much PR money has been spent to keep it in place.
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hfojvt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-23-08 02:08 PM
Response to Original message
2. before society, it seems that some other people should be culpable
In this case, the father of Lisa's children, for one (or two). Second, Lisa's parents. Third, the parents of the father(s) of Lisa's children. Why is this 22 year old seemingly on her own, and why do those children of such a young mother have no grandparents? I know there can be some bad circumstances - abusive partners or parents, hostile in-laws, sick or deceased parents, etc., but those ought to be rare. Clearly too, she should have contacted some kind of legal service before social services. I would hate to see social services come in and judgementally declare my house a pigsty. Lord knows, my mom and sister do that every time they visit.
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blindpig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-23-08 02:44 PM
Response to Reply #2
6. disagree

Society should provide living wages for all people, that is the crux of the biscuit. Fix that and all else is secondary and remediable.
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hfojvt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-23-08 04:23 PM
Response to Reply #6
11. a 'living' wage depends on housing expenses
and those are not fixed. It used to be common for many people to live with, or very near their parents until the parents died. It was a way to both help young couples starting out, and to provide for the care of the elderly. Also, what might be a living wage for a married couple with two incomes or a single person with no kids suddenly isn't when a father dodges child support.
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blindpig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-23-08 04:37 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. trivialities

All of those cases are beside the point.

Food, clothing, shelter, a decent job and healthcare should be a right in any society capable, else it is not worthy of the name.
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Sapphire Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-23-08 08:54 PM
Response to Reply #2
13. We don't all live fairy tale lives.
As much as you think bad circumstances should be rare, they're not. They're all too frequent.

It might be easier to point fingers at the father or the grandparents or whoever else, but first we need to look in the mirror and point the finger at the person looking back at us. What have we become?
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Romulox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-23-08 02:11 PM
Response to Original message
3. Free market capitalism REQUIRES poverty to function, as do all Ponzi schemes.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-23-08 02:12 PM
Response to Original message
4. Indigo, do you have a DU account?
Thanks for your work. :)
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roguevalley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-23-08 02:25 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. its beyond the pale that this can happen. thank you, indigo, for
mentioning this and reminding us of how impossibly wrong this is.
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Wiley50 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-24-08 07:39 PM
Response to Reply #4
22. You know Beth, I don't have a problem with Indigo carrying on her mother's screen name and memory
Edited on Sat May-24-08 07:40 PM by Wiley50
And I know you well enough that I know you really don't either.

No one has ever championed the issues of those living in poverty

on DU more than Sapphire Blue. I miss her a lot.

So, I think it's really kinda sweet for Indigo to carry on her legacy

as long as she wishes to.
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elizfeelinggreat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-23-08 02:50 PM
Response to Original message
7. recommend
:(
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flashl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-23-08 02:59 PM
Response to Original message
8. K&R
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G_j Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-23-08 03:18 PM
Response to Original message
9. K&R
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Bluerthanblue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-23-08 03:43 PM
Response to Original message
10. Thanks for posting this
Indigo Blue. :hug:

K&R


peace~
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KSinTX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-24-08 04:00 PM
Response to Original message
14. I am a skeptic, of sorts
Don't hammer me for what I'm thinking when I read this story. I just want to know more about this mother. Has she been making good financial choices otherwise? I find it difficult sometimes to garner compassion for people who aren't working, have multiple children with no means of support and buy gadgets rather than care for their children. My parents fostered 32 children throughout their lives and I've had the opportunity to meet a number of the parents. Much of their misery was due to making poor life choices and their quest for more of the trappings of the middle class lifestyle and bad choices in men often led to deplorable conditions for their children. I'm not saying that true poverty doesn't exist, it does. Just that I've come to see so much of it is self-induced and perhaps that social worker saw more than what is expressed here. Don't hate me for suggesting this, it's just what I've seen.
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Sapphire Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-24-08 04:30 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. Poor choices. Here we go again.
No, I don't hate you for suggesting this, but I'm really frustrated with this way of thinking. It's easy to judge others based on your own experience, and categorize / stereotype people according to the examples that you've witnessed or heard about. You don't know the history behind what you've witnessed, though. Do you understand the despair brought on when you have to make a "choice", and no matter which way you go, there's no way up, no way out? And on top of that, you get blamed for making a "poor choice".

If you really want to know what it's like, walk out your door, leave everything behind, everything you have, everything you know or think you know, and go out and make some choices. Your first choice: no money in your pocket. Where will you sleep tonight? What will you eat?

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KSinTX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-24-08 04:47 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. In addition to meeting the parents of fosters
I have also worked in the poorest school district in San Antonio and have mentored/tutored parents as well as the students. I am saying that I understand the despair of some, but I also recognize that there is a significant number that have indulged in a lifestyle that has brought a good bit of it on. Again, there have been truly poor families with whom I've encountered and I have fought on their behalf. I only say that like racism and sexism, there are always those who cry victim but are not truly victimized. As far as I'm concerned they do great harm to those who are truly the victims and divert great resources that otherwise could help those without. I get those who have nothing and am willing to stand with them shoulder-to-shoulder and have.
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Sapphire Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-24-08 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. When you talk about "a significant number that have indulged in a lifestyle that has brought ...
... a good bit of it on", I think about "McMansion" people; people who can't afford that lifestyle, but they can get credit, and extend themselves way beyond their limits. Then they can't pay for all that stuff they've gotten on credit. I'm not sure that's what you meant, but that's what I think of.

Truly poor people can't get credit, though, and don't have the means to indulge "in a lifestyle that has brought a good bit of it on." Not unless you mean skipping the electric bill this month so they can buy their kid's shoes, clothes, so they can pay for their prescriptions, so they can put food on the table, gas in their tanks to get to work. Those are the choices that many of us have. When survival is indulging "in a lifestyle that has brought a good bit of it on", something needs to change radically.

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KSinTX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-24-08 05:26 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. You hit a good point
I'm trying to make the distinction between "truly poor people" and those who "indulge in a lifestyle that has brought a good bit of it on." I'm talking about a lifestyle that puts driving a nice car ahead of feeding their children; that puts a wide screen TV ahead of paying the electric bill; that puts a purchase of an iPod ahead of clothing the kids. I'm not talking about families that work multiple, low-paying jobs and still struggle to meet the basics. They exist and I'm more than willing to work tirelessly for them. I'm talking about young parents (typically) who have their nails done regularly or spend welfare checks on car upgrades while their kids are missing school, hungry, without electricity and ill.

Truthfully, I think we agree on the plight of the poor and what must happen to help them, I just think we disagree on the line of poverty demarcation.
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mrreowwr_kittty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-24-08 05:43 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. Consumer spending is 70% of our GDP.
People buying crap on credit has been propping up this country's (and while we're at it a good part of the world's) economy for the past few decades. It always cracks me up when the scolds come out to cluck their tongues over all this "wasteful" spending without looking around to truly see how many industries, and jobs, are utterly dependent on it. When you have an economic system that is dependent upon non-stop growth and short term profits for corporations, you are going to have a market that is flooded with crap people don't need and people hawking the crap everywhere you turn. There isn't a multi-billion dollar advertising and marketing complex for nothing.
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Sapphire Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-24-08 07:12 PM
Response to Reply #18
20. I'm reading what you said and shaking my head.
Who "puts driving a nice car ahead of feeding their children"? Who "puts a wide screen TV ahead of paying the electric bill"? Who "puts a purchase of an iPod ahead of clothing the kids"? Who has "their nails done regularly or spend welfare checks on car upgrades while their kids are missing school, hungry, without electricity and ill"?

I don't know any poor people who do any of that. I've heard those kinds of comments used against poor people, though. There was even a president who went after poor people, specifically "welfare mothers", AKA "welfare queens". Those BS stereotypes live on.

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KSinTX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-24-08 07:41 PM
Response to Reply #20
23. Sorry, I didn't realize you were simply posting a story
I thought you had intimate knowledge of the culture of poverty. My mistake.
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Sapphire Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-24-08 07:53 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. Simply posting a story?
Is that all you think this is?

I guess that if I had your same stereotypical view of poor people, you'd think that I DID have "intimate knowledge of the culture of poverty." Well, I can't say that I have your kind of knowledge, and I don't ever want that kind of knowledge.
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varelse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-24-08 07:20 PM
Response to Original message
21. I think it's past time
to face the fact that the "poor choices" that perpetuate and grow poverty here in this country and around the world are made by ALL of us. Better choices are also ours to make, and it is time to put aside the denial and the indifference, and act on them.
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