Latest Faking News: Bush declares Clinton, Obama, Edwards, Kucinich and Gravel ineligible to run

[rpannier]

Today, President George Bush issued a signing statement that disqualified all 5 Democratic Candidates from running for the office of president. Citing national security concerns, he stripped the five candidates of their US citizenship until a full hearing could be convened.

According to Administration spokesperson Dana Perino, "The President has set a January 10, 2009 date for the hearing."

When asked what that does to the Democratic field, Ms Perino responded, "This is not a problem. The President has talked to both Romney and Huckabee and they have agreed to run for the Democratic nomination, while Mc Cain and Guliani will run as Republicans."

When an AP reporter asked what gives the president this authority? Ms Perino replied, "That is classified and the President has ordered that it be sealed for fifty years."

Another reporter asked what this decision does to Sen Obama and Sen Clinton's status as US Senators.
Ms Perino explained, "If they're not citizens, then they obviously cannot be Senators. The President has spoken to Alan Keyes and he has agreed to represent the state of Illinois in the Senate. The President has spoken to Fred Thompson about representing New York and he has said he needs the day to consider it."

When asked why Fred Thompson, Ms Perino, "Well, he was the DA on Law and Order. Law and Order takes place in NYC. So that is good enough for the President."

Another reporter asked whether or not choosing new Senators wasn't the prerogative of the Governor of the state. Ms. Perion, "We are at war with Islamic-radical, Islamo-fascists. The President has used a signing statement to give him the power to choose US Senators."

When asked about this development, Senate Majority leader Reid said, "We are working on a carefully crafted non-binding resolution condemning the Presidents actions. We hope to have it finished by October."

When asked about investigations into the legality of the Presidents actions and possible impeachment proceedings both Sen Reid and Rep Pelosi said, "We were not elected to investigate and impeach. That would be divisive. The electorate wants us to come together in bi-partisan unity."

[jeff30997]

1. Lol!

Thanks for this rpannier.That's hilarious!

[pocoloco]

2. Reid and Pelosi both have bent over frontwards to share some of

that "bi-partisan unity".

[ladjf]

3. That's too close to being true to be funny.