Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Female-to-female bullying

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (1/22-2007 thru 12/14/2010) Donate to DU
 
flashl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-28-07 10:24 PM
Original message
Female-to-female bullying
The Ways and Whys of Female-to-Female Bullying

All over the world, and most especially, in corporate America, a terrible war is being waged, one that seems so unlikely and preposterous. It is woman against woman, and it is a systematic and conscious marginalizing of smart, talented, women of all looks, race and shape who face a daily work-place assault by the least likely of oppressors- their female supervisor - one who subjects her underlings to such extreme and inappropriate behavior that if a man did it (and with today’s laws, he wouldn’t, not if he were smart anyway), would be facing a sexual harassment suit faster than you could say “Anita Hill.” Bullying is now recognized by the American Medical Association (AMA) as a serious public health problem.

In the Orlando Business Journal, Liz Urbanski Farrell wrote that workplace bullying costs $180M in lost time and productivity. In the US alone, total work related diseases including stress account for a total cost of $26 billion annually.

The victims, or ‘targets’, are women who, just like you, worked so hard to get through school, who, like any normal woman, fight every day with their own feelings of inadequacy and have dealt with sexual harassment and cat-calls and put up and made their peace with men who were promoted over them, even though they were more qualified, and who maybe even sought a job where a woman was their supervisor because they thought it would be somehow better, and find themselves, to their surprise, facing the biggest bully of all. To be clear, just as not all men or even most men harass women at work, the female bully is not every boss or even most female bosses. She is the exception, not the rule, but her domain is growing and sightings become more and more common.

Female-to-female bullying occurs at corporations both large and small and is a global phenomenon. It’s an issue that has become as serious and dangerous, if not more, than sexual harassment, thought to be a between the sexes issue. But bullying is just as bad, if not worse, because it is unexpected by most (most targets are surprised and blindsided to find a woman assaulting them and undermining them and wonder what happened to sisterhood) and far more sinister. It is in issue that has finally begun to receive notice in the United Kingdom and other countries in Europe, where there are groups and legal advice aides, and the like. But as of this writing, bullying is not yet recognized in the United States - or if it is, perhaps it is still hard for many to believe that a woman could cause another woman any serious emotional or physical damage.


Who knew.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Fredda Weinberg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-28-07 10:26 PM
Response to Original message
1. There can be only one (alpha female) n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Buzz Clik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-28-07 10:35 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. I heard it referred to as the Queen Bee.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-28-07 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
2. Let's just say that I, as a woman, prefer a male boss over a female boss.
Just speaking from experience.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Fredda Weinberg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-28-07 10:38 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. And I enjoy male subordinates n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-28-07 11:03 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. My best and worst bosses have been women
and the good ones vastly outnumber the bad.

I am perfectly happy working for decent bosses of either sex or any permutation thereof.

Nothing can ruin a job faster than a bullying boss, though.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
flashl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-28-07 11:35 PM
Response to Reply #2
9. So, is sisterhood a myth? n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-28-07 11:48 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. I have just had some very very bad female bosses
So I am very leery.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-28-07 10:57 PM
Response to Original message
5. living it right now
luckily, I have tools not to fall into the trap but it took some time to get there and recognize what was happening.

it ain't pretty
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Mutineer Donating Member (659 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-28-07 11:01 PM
Response to Original message
6. I'll probably get flamed for saying this
but my worse bosses were all women. And I saw some of exactly what this article talks about-many times.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
melody Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-28-07 11:05 PM
Response to Original message
8. Bad things in both circumstances ... male or female n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
piesRsquare Donating Member (960 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-28-07 11:45 PM
Response to Original message
10. "Who knew"??
Any woman who's ever been a K-12 classroom teacher, that's who.

About fucking time this got acknowledged.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Cruzan Donating Member (806 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-29-07 02:18 AM
Response to Original message
12. In my experience it isn't so much female bosses or female coworkers but simply too high
a concentration of females within a confined office space. At some number I've seen a critical mass reached where the level of mean catty gossip and vicious but subtle comments and back stabbing became truly destructive. I don't know how common this is or if I seemed to only work for the exceptions but I've heard similar comments when I've mentioned this to others.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Thu Oct 31st 2024, 06:44 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (1/22-2007 thru 12/14/2010) Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC