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Top Ten Signs You're A Fundamentalist Christian....

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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:32 AM
Original message
Top Ten Signs You're A Fundamentalist Christian....
Edited on Sun Jun-03-07 01:48 AM by BlooInBloo
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

The rest at: http://duggmirror.com/political_opinion/Top_Ten_Signs_You_re_a_Fundamentalist_Christian_6/



EDIT: What's a post without smilies?

EDITEDIT: Fixed dugg link.
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nadinbrzezinski Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:38 AM
Response to Original message
1. I hate to do this
Edited on Sun Jun-03-07 01:40 AM by nadinbrzezinski
but the bronze age tribemen did not get to the 6,000 year mark. That was... drum roll, a british Deaceon in the 19th century, iirc.

Bronze age goat herders concept of time was VERY DIFFERNT from ours

On edit I do love number one


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dave_p Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 02:45 AM
Response to Reply #1
17. 23 Oct 4004 BC!
But he did do it by calculating generations from individual lifespans like 969 years.

"I love number one" sounds like something definitely not permitted in the Bible. But apparently it doesn't mention it. That'll be a relief for some.
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nadinbrzezinski Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 03:16 AM
Response to Reply #17
18. Yes he did
but as I like to remind folks

Yep Abraham lived that long, only if you take into account silly things like the role of mythology

Dito for Noah... and Isaac

They were not real numbers or real lifespans

:-)

I just love how a british Deacon took them seriously.
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dave_p Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 03:32 AM
Response to Reply #18
20. But without silly things like mythology...
Edited on Sun Jun-03-07 03:33 AM by dave_p
... what's left? Atheism! Nobody could possibly want such a thing, surely?

It'd be like... like France!

:rofl:
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muriel_volestrangler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 08:41 AM
Response to Reply #1
24. No, loads of people claim, or claimed, roughly a 6000 year age
See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating_Creation#Date_of_Creation_according_to_the_Pentateuch

(and the man these days mainly associated with this, Ussher, because he not only counted up the years in the Old Testament, but also argued about the time of year (to do with equinoxes) and the time of day that God would have created the world, was an Archbishop in Ireland in the 17th century)

That's why, for instance, the Jerusalem Post has the year as 5767 at its masthead, as well as 2007. In Hebrew chronology, creation was in year 1. There are slight differences in the various dates because the parts which actually get into real history aren't always precisely recorded. But the generations of Adam, Noah etc. were taken by all Christians and Jews as correct.

I don't know what strict Muslims believe, though.
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:44 AM
Response to Original message
2. the link is dead
darn it! I really wanted to see the other 5 too :rofl:
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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:49 AM
Response to Reply #2
13. Fixed.
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:52 AM
Response to Reply #13
15. that's ok, I found it at this pretty funny site
www.evilbible.com
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TheDebbieDee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:44 AM
Response to Original message
3. Link not working - I want to know what the top 5 are!!!!!!!!!!!!
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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:44 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. Oh fuck - hold on - getting a fix....
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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:47 AM
Response to Reply #4
9. Fixed link here!!!
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TheDebbieDee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:51 AM
Response to Reply #9
14. Thanks for the good link................
#3 is hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Phredicles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:45 AM
Response to Original message
5. So what're the other five? Clicking the link gets an "Account has been
suspended" message. These five are pretty good, though.
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NastyRiffraff Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:45 AM
Response to Original message
6. The account has been suspended
Hmmmm...wonder why.
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nadinbrzezinski Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:46 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. Not paying fees?
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charlie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:47 AM
Response to Reply #7
8. It's been Dugg
Overwhelmed. Traffic surge killed it.
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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:48 AM
Response to Reply #8
11. Fixed.
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DKRC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:48 AM
Response to Original message
10. The Fundie Beancounters strike again! Account suspended!
Edited on Sun Jun-03-07 01:54 AM by DKRC
:evilgrin:

Edited to add a good link. Well, not a "good" link since it's technically at EvilBible.com, but the link works.
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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:48 AM
Response to Reply #10
12. Fixed.
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 01:55 AM
Response to Original message
16. Hypocrisy, thy name is Christian Fundamentalism!
Edited on Sun Jun-03-07 01:56 AM by SeattleGirl
:crazy:
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WritersBlock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 03:26 AM
Response to Original message
19. And don't forget #11: Crotchless Pantaloons...
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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 03:34 AM
Response to Reply #19
21. Well then we need #12: Attending father/daughter purity balls...
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WritersBlock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 03:43 AM
Response to Reply #21
22. Ah yes - I'd almost forgotten about those.


Or at least I'd been trying to :D

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ClintonTyree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 04:53 AM
Response to Original message
23. The most shocking reason is #1.....
1. You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Isn't THAT the truth! I'm an atheist (or at best, a raging agnostic) and I can BURY just about any christian when discussing the origins and history of their religion. It's just enough for them to "believe", not knowing exactly what it is they're believing in or why. Someone TOLD them this is the "truth" and that's good enough for them. No intellectual curiosity needed. But then the 1st lesson of the bible is to NOT EAT FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE, isn't it? :eyes: That's right. Just accept what we say, don't ask questions, don't get out of line and of course, don't forget to tithe! :rofl:

There's a reason christians are referred to as "sheep" and "lambs" throughout the bible and it's NOT the reason they think it is. But for some 4th century intervention by the Emperor Constantine (to solidify his OWN power, mind you) christianity would most likely remain a rag-tag, splintered group of sects without any power whatsoever. Every christian should be required to read about the life of Constantine (a much more thorough, factual and historical account than of Jesus' life). They'd need no more proof that their religious beliefs are formed on extremely shaky ground. Most of the world's biblical scholars agree that the bible is NOT to be taken literally, it's just the fundie nut-jobs that insist on that. That also happens to support their personal quests for money, power and control over others: isn't that strange? :eyes:

If people need religion to get them through the day, that's fine with me. If it makes them a better person......great. But to present the bible as factual history and the unerring word of some supreme deity.........no, no thanks. You'll have to do better than some compilation of myth and folklore called "the bible" to convince me and many others of that. I need proof, I need truth, and I'm not afraid to ruffle a few feathers in the pursuit of that truth.
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Nunyabiz Donating Member (504 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 08:54 AM
Response to Reply #23
25. There is no "truth" in the Bible
it is all just an Astrological Drama which has been proven well beyond any reasonable doubt through archaeological evidence.

http://members.cox.net/deleyd/religion/solarmyth/christ2002.htm
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