Day in the Life of Joe Middle-Class Republican
By John Gray Cincinnati, Ohio -
[email protected] -
July - 2004
As read by Thom Hartmann, Dec 19th, 2006
Joe gets up at 6:00am to prepare his morning coffee.
He fills his pot full of good clean drinking water
because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum
water quality standards.
He takes his daily medication with his first swallow
of coffee. His medications are safe to take because
some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their
safety and work as advertised.
All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his
employers medical plan because some liberal union
workers fought their employers for paid medical
insurance, now Joe gets it too.
He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs this
day. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man
liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing
industry.
Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo;
His bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient
and the amount of its contents because some crybaby
liberal fought for his right to know what he was
putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath.
The air he breathes is clean because some
environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop
industries from polluting our air.
He walks to the subway station for his government
subsidized ride to work; it saves him considerable
money in parking and transportation fees. You see,
some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public
transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity
to be a contributor.
Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with
excellent pay, medicals benefits, retirement, paid
holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union
members fought and died for these working standards.
If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he’ll
get a worker compensation or unemployment check
because some stupid liberal didn’t think he should
lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
Its noon time, Joe needs to make a Bank Deposit so he
can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured
by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to
protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who
ruined the banking system before the Republican Great
Depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten Mortgage
and his below market federal student loan because some
elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government
would be better off if he was educated and earned more
money over his life-time.
Joe is home from work, he plans to visit his father
this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets
in his car for the drive to dad's; his car is among
the safest in the world because some America-hating
liberal fought for car safety standards.
He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third
generation to live in the house financed by Farmers
Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to
make rural loans. The house didn’t have electric until
some big government liberal stuck his nose where it
didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification.
(Those rural Republican’s would still be sitting in
the dark)
He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad
lives on Social Security and his union pension because
some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he
could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to.
After his visit with dad he gets back in his car for
the ride home. He turns on a radio talk show, the host
keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives
are good. (He doesn’t tell Joe that his beloved
Republicans have fought against every protection and
benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day) As he hears
Rush say, "Roosevelt is dead. His policies may live on
but we're in the process of doing something about that
as well," Joe agrees, saying, “We don’t need those big
government liberals ruining our lives; after all, I’m
a self made man who believes everyone should take care
of themselves, just like I have”.