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This topic came up the other day and here is what I posted, with a few additions.
At 28, I'm somewhat in the middle generation wise, but what I've noticed is that older generation lesbians have a lot more of a belief that the world is against them. One woman I know who is in her early 40's is always going on about how invisible, persecuted, etc. she feels as a lesbian in her everyday life, and it doesn't ring true to my experiences at all. Maybe if we were in Alabama, but this is L.A. fergodsake. Practically everyone my partner and I have met here has been accepting of our orientation. There are a lot of shallow, nasty people here, but most of them don't care if you're gay or straight, they care if you have the fashionable car and the designer clothes. Considering that the aforementioned friend has a hairstyle that should have gone out with the 1980's, perhaps *that's* why she gets negative reactions from people.
That brings up another difference I have noticed. Older generations of gay people seem to hold on to and fit stereotypes more; I'm not sure what purpose it serves for them exactly, as to me it seems like a hindrance to being accepted. Young people treat their sexual orientation as just one aspect of their identity, and are less bound by roles like butch and femme, styles of dress, that sort of thing. When looking at a group of gay and straight teens, you can't always tell which is which. I don't mean that gay people are becoming more like straight people, but rather that there's more diversity in gender expression and style across orientations. I personally think that's a good thing.
In that same vein, older gay people seem to be more insular, less trusting of straight people, and more segregated. They seem to prefer things that way, whereas for me, while I want to have some gay friends and live in a gay-friendly area, I would not want to live and associate with ONLY LGBT people. My best friend is a hetero guy, and I don't feel that he is any less accepting of me, or ignorant to the challenges I face, just because he is straight.
I try to connect to new people with the expectation that they will be at least tolerant, and probably accepting, rather than approaching them with fear. And I think that contributes to their being OK with me and my partner. We behave as if we are equal, and therefore are treated as such.
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