http://blogs.lancasteronline.com/smartremarks/2007/07/19/how-wingers-think-part-infinity/#more-335I have an uncle up in Connecticut. Nice guy - except he’s a winger. And occasionally he forwards me winger e-mails, like this one yesterday:
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The other night a friend and I watched a movie called, “Flags of our Fathers”.
During the movie, I pointed out the radio broadcast of “Tokyo Rose”.
During World War II, the Japanese wanted to find a way to demoralize the American forces.
Psychological warfare experts developed a message they felt would work.
They gave the script to their famous radio broadcaster “Tokyo Rose”, who always had the best music on her station, so lots of GIs would be sure to listen.
And every day she would broadcast the same message, packaged in different ways.
The Japanese hoped it would have a negative impact on American GI’s morale.
What was that demoralizing message? It had three main points:
1. Your President is lying to you.
2. This war is illegal.
3. You cannot win the war.
Does this sound at all familiar?
It should, because today we are being bombarded by Tokyo Hillary, Tokyo Harry, Tokyo Teddy, Tokyo Nancy, Tokyo Kerry, Tokyo Edwards, Tokyo Murtha, Tokyo Dean, Tokyo Jimmy Carter, etc.
They have picked up the same demoralizing message and are broadcasting it via Tokyo CNN, Tokyo ABC, Tokyo CBS, Tokyo NBC, etc., to our troops.
The only difference is that they claim to support our troops before they demoralize them.
Come to think of it, Tokyo Rose told the troops that she was on their side, too.
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Ah, the rancid smell of populist winger “intelligence” in full flower.
Because, see, the war in Iraq is exactly the same thing as World War II. Except it isn’t. But don’t notice that. Keep telling yourself that “they” attacked us first, though “they” weren’t Iraqi. Keep telling yourself that the war in Iraq is making us safer, when the opposite is true. Keep telling yourself that all we need to do is keep on surging and Iraq will turn into a shiny happy democracy. Somehow. But don’t think about that. Indeed, don’t think at all. Because thinking leads to doubts. And doubts turn you into a traitor.
All you need to do is believe, fervently believe, and all your problems will melt away. Sunni, Shia, what’s the difference - so long as you don’t let pesky facts disturb your singular focus. It’s all the fault of those who won’t believe, who dare to ask questions, who dare to doubt our Sacred Calling in this Glorious Clash of Civilizations. They’re traitors and they should be thrown in jail, and if they were thrown in jail then it would be candy and flowers and parades, wonderful democracy and gas at $1.25 per gallon for everyone.
Keep telling yourself this. Eventually, you may come to believe it.
That is, if you’re a winger.