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powergirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 11:39 AM
Original message
DUer Editorial in the Dallas Morning News - conservative "family values"
Below is a column that I wrote that was published in today's Dallas Morning News. I've included the link - but I copied it in its entirety since it is my original writing. I hope ya'll like it.

Jean Power: You can never go home again

Don't subject children to the good ol' days - they weren't all that good


05:34 AM CDT on Wednesday, August 17, 2005



Many politicians proclaim, in the most incendiary of ways, that the breakdown of the family unit is the cause of all things bad with this country. Learned and educated leaders tout alleged fixes to the system by suggesting that, among other things, the increase in the number of divorces and the prevalence of homosexuals raising children is eroding our very moral fiber.

Those who express their concern in this manner cling to the image of June Cleaver cooking up a roast while wearing pearls and heels and dutifully waiting for her sartorially correct husband's return from work. These illusions of happiness, of which so many fundamentalists dream, are betrayed by the facts.

During the 1950s, those times so reflected upon by the nostalgic "family values" crowd, communities were fraught with bigotry, sexism and inequality. Schools were segregated and women could not go to the college of their choice.

Homosexuals remained closeted and feigned heterosexuality to avoid losing their jobs and possibly their freedom – via psychiatric institutionalization and criminal penalties. Many would marry and have children to create the illusion of the happy family, while subjecting themselves and their families to miserable lives trapped in confusion and deceit.

As recently as the 1970s (a scant 30 years ago), in the state of Texas, children born to unmarried women were denied the ability to sue their biological fathers for child support, so great was the stigma of illegitimacy.

During those times of yore, looked upon so favorably by national and local leaders, many women could not find jobs that paid a living wage. Women did not get divorced because it was not "proper," and to do so would result in the likely tragic result of ostracism, destitution and impoverishment for them and their children. Women and children were sentenced to remain in homes filled with physical abuse, emotional turmoil and infidelity, merely as a means of survival.

There are laws in other states, and there has been open discussion by leaders of this state, to make it more difficult to obtain a divorce by eliminating "no fault" divorces and requiring couples to openly, in public courts, make accusations against each other to justify getting a divorce. What's in it for the children? If parents cannot make their marriage work, should any child be forced to live with parents who have been forced into a very humiliating public feud? In the most extreme of circumstances, should children be required to endure violence inflicted upon themselves or other family members?

The voters of the state of Texas will be faced with a constitutional amendment that purports to save families by effectively preventing homosexuals from marrying. On the surface, perhaps this does not seem such an imposition. But what's in it for the children? Will this really preserve families? Are children of homosexual parents any less worthy than other children in this state? Should they not be allowed to inherit from a deceased parent, sue in civil court if their sole caretaker is disabled or receive child support?

In 2000, 2,219 divorce petitions affecting 1,775 children were filed in Collin County. Will these laws stop divorces? Will these laws stop homosexuality?

What's in it for the children? Nothing but the stigmatization of innocent children and irreparable emotional harm.

I have been a divorce and family law attorney for over 16 years. I have represented a range of clients from the poorest and most vulnerable in our community to the $1 million-plus wage earner. The common thread of all of my clients is the fact that children always suffer more than any parent. A child needs support – not ostracism, not acrimony – when his or her family disintegrates.

To let these attitudes, biases and prejudices prevail will cause our laws that protect children to regress.

I am not willing to gamble on our children by retreating to the arcane and hurtful norms of eras past. Instead, I want all of our children to live without fear or shame and to have the same opportunity to succeed. After all, children don't get to pick their parents.


Jean Power is a Plano attorney and a Voices of Collin County volunteer columnist. Her e-mail address is [email protected].

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/city/collin/opinion/stories/DN-collin_voices_17edi.ART.Collin_County.Edition2.1390d760.html

:dem:
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w8liftinglady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 11:41 AM
Response to Original message
1. Wow-excellent submission-esp for the DMN
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calimary Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 11:46 AM
Response to Original message
2. Yes. I LIKE it!
And it's running in Dallas? EXCELLENT! :yourock:
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powergirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 11:52 AM
Response to Reply #2
6. Yes
It's running in the Dallas Morning News today. I anticipate some hate mail and will be sure and share the fun ones with the DUers. I've been called a "moran" before. :evilgrin:
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Lost4words Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 11:46 AM
Response to Original message
3. Great work!
Spot On!
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opihimoimoi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 11:46 AM
Response to Original message
4. Most of those guys down there won't even see the article much less read it
Good reading and for those that do read it...a bit of an eye opener...
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Stinky The Clown Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 11:52 AM
Response to Original message
5. That is one **kick ass** column! Nominated
Good for you, Jean. Well written and powerful. I'm glad it was published. Let's hope it gets read by the ones who need to read and embrace it. Sadly, I suspect they're blinded by their 'faith'.
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mconvente Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 12:14 PM
Response to Original message
7. recommended and kick!
Nice work!
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 12:16 PM
Response to Original message
8. Very cool!
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beltanefauve Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 01:47 PM
Response to Original message
9. Thank you, Jean!
That was more than just an op ed piece. That was a public service!
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JNelson6563 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 01:54 PM
Response to Original message
10. Thank you!
Beautifully written. You make excellent points throughout. Thanks for caring enough to write this and thanks also for posting.

Julie
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gasperc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 02:00 PM
Response to Original message
11. in 2000, 2219 divorces filed
that is as effective as anything to ask how these new laws will stop that.
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madrchsod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 02:01 PM
Response to Original message
12. ya the good old days
that never existed. nice article powergirl
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benny05 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 02:04 PM
Response to Original message
13. Congrats on getting this published
Very effective and succinct. I've not understood how children couldn't be loved by same-sex parents or why fathers abandon their families (or moms, for that matter). I don't have children of my own, but my thought is to raise children to be good global and productive citizens.

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LynzM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 02:21 PM
Response to Original message
14. Great column
Have you read The Way We Never Were? I'm guessing you may have, but if not, it'd be right up your alley for that theme...
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powergirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 03:33 PM
Response to Reply #14
26. I have never read that book - but I will now
Edited on Wed Aug-17-05 03:34 PM by powergirl
Thank you for recommending that book. I enjoy watching freepers squirm when I tell them the good ole days were sexist and racist. I think they are uncomfortable because they really do want the country to be that way now.:pals:
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LynzM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 06:10 PM
Response to Reply #26
31. Yeah, it's good
Talks mainly about the myth of the 50s household and family, how prevalent alcoholism and teen pregnancy and unhappy marriages were, etc. Fascinating read, and I'm sure will give you more fodder for making freepers squirm! :bounce:
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raccoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-18-05 01:05 PM
Response to Reply #26
48. Right on!
Edited on Thu Aug-18-05 01:08 PM by raccoon
"I think they are uncomfortable because they really do want the country to be that way now."

I think they do, too.

"Women and children were sentenced to remain in homes filled with physical abuse, emotional turmoil and infidelity, merely as a means of survival. "

And also alcoholism/drug addiction, usually along with the emotional turmoil and physical abuse you mentioned.


Great article!



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Serial Mom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 02:25 PM
Response to Original message
15. Very accurate and true ... Congrats!
I would like to see more columns like this in more newspapers.

Have you sent it to other newspapers as a guest columnist (with minor revisions, it could apply to most states)?
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shance Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 02:33 PM
Response to Original message
16. Wonderful job Jean. As one who comes from Dallas,
I'm very grateful to see quality writing like this in the Morning news!

Kudos to you and thanks.
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CitrusLib Donating Member (748 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 02:33 PM
Response to Original message
17. Excellent job! Thanks for sharing this.
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City Lights Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 02:37 PM
Response to Original message
18. Very nice!
Great that they published it. :woohoo:
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FrenchieCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 02:49 PM
Response to Original message
19. Wonderful OP, and extra Kudos for the fact that it was published!
As an African-American individual, I have always wondered about this "white"washed glamourization of past eras and the obvious attempt by the conservatives to go back into another time.

"Leave it to Beaver" is not the picture I conjure up when thinking of the 1950, nor is Camelot the immediate 1960s memory that I recall.

You made excellent points in daring to mention some of those pesky details some might choose to forget as they press for an agenda of "restoring" us to the good ol' past. Details that most progressive would prefer remain in our history as opposed to in our immediate future.

Thank you for articulating a remembrance of what some may want to keep forgotten deep down in a memory hole.
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powergirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 03:38 PM
Response to Reply #19
28. Thanks for the encouragement FrenchieCat
Don't you think the neocons are dead serious when they prognosticate a "return to our past.?" I believe they really want to return to the days of racism and sexism. I didn't mention that in my column. Maybe I should have. I'm already getting loads of hate mail emailed to me because of the article. I'll review them tonight and post the stupidest ones on DU tomorrow. :pals:
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FrenchieCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 04:24 PM
Response to Reply #28
30. Actually I think that you did mention those issues in your column....
in probably the most effective way, via these sentences....

.....communities were fraught with bigotry, sexism and inequality. Schools were segregated and women could not go to the college of their choice.

Anymore mention most likely would have been "too much" for the haters to bare.

As you know, sometimes understated truth can have a greater subliminal impact than those "in your face" statements.

Of course going back to the past is a "code" to sorts. That's why combating the notion with a subliminal approach was the way to go.

So to conclude, I think you did a most outstanding job. :hi:
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racaulk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 02:52 PM
Response to Original message
20. Great column!
You're absolutely spot on in everything you said. Thank you for writing this and posting it for us to enjoy. Reading this definitely brightened up my day. :-)
And congrats on getting your work published. :yourock:
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johnnypneumatic Donating Member (461 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 03:02 PM
Response to Original message
21. awesome!
You go girl!
I remember the good old days. They weren't. I remember everyone living in quiet desperation. Everyone had a crew cut. Black and white tv with tubes that always went out. Most people were poor. Cars that were deathtraps. I remember the day when our teacher said she couldn't read the bible in class anymore because of some crazy atheist woman and the supreme court (thank you Madalyn!). I remember the Kennedy assasination. When the Beatles came, with their long hair and Beatle boots, everyone went nuts calling them radical faggots trying to destroy the fabric of society. These are the times that repugs look back fondly on...
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Pam-Moby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 03:12 PM
Response to Original message
22. Nice job powergirl
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muchacho Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 03:17 PM
Response to Original message
23. how did clear thinking slip into the DMN

I don't recall it the 39 years I lived there....
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Tikki Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 03:21 PM
Response to Original message
24. Well, I walked that walk in the 50's....my parents' divorce made the....
Edited on Wed Aug-17-05 03:22 PM by Tikki
...front page of out little town newspaper...twice.

All the messy details....funny how you remember the adults, neighbors and others in the town where you lived.... by who thought your father was to blame and who thought your mother was to blame.....



Tikki
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Mad_Dem_X Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 03:24 PM
Response to Original message
25. Great job!
Very well written.
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 03:33 PM
Response to Original message
27. Excellent
Good job and very well written :)

I guess I should run to pick up the paper today.
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bribri16 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 03:56 PM
Response to Original message
29. Bravo!! And recommended. n/t
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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 07:42 PM
Response to Original message
32. Great letter
The DMN needs more of this because I hate that paper with a passion.
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powergirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 09:07 PM
Response to Reply #32
34. I know
And the DMN is the only paper in this city. Some freep was complaining to me that the Dallas Morning News is SOOOOOOOOOO liberal. He looked at me like I was crazy when I started laughing at him. The fact that the paper endorsed Bush for president was not proof to him of their conservatism.
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MsMagnificent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 09:03 PM
Response to Original message
33. *applause*
Great work Jean! :applause:

One thing that stood out, IMO that is important (sorry, do not mean to be a critic, but just if you develop this more into an essay you may find it worthy to include it : )
is the fact that wives could be raped by their husbands
and it wasn't considered rape!!!
I mean, TALK about OWNERSHIP of another human being!!


That's just one thing that's bothered me so much about 'the good old days'... sheesh.
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powergirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 09:09 PM
Response to Reply #33
35. I appreciate that information
I forgot about that and will remember it in the future. You know those freeps believe in their heart of hearts that it's not rape if it's your wife - you know all that cleavin', etc. :sarcasm:
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Donailin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 09:20 PM
Response to Original message
36. Proud to nominate
you should get an automatic 1000th post award for the superb piece of opinion.
:toast:
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Stockholm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-18-05 02:52 AM
Response to Original message
37. Well done Powergirl!
nominated
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KT2000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-18-05 03:39 AM
Response to Original message
38. Thanks for this
these people are getting away with the silliest myths! I do think they get them from tv shows. If people can watch tv shows and think they are real and hold them up as an ideal for others to follow, we are dealing with some very delusional people.
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Darth_Kitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-18-05 06:44 AM
Response to Original message
39. That's fantastic!
:thumbsup:

You said it. :)
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flpoljunkie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-18-05 06:52 AM
Response to Original message
40. Compelling, persuasive letter and thanks to the Dallas News for publishing
And thank you for sharing it on DU.
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calico1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-18-05 07:21 AM
Response to Original message
41. Excellent! n/t
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jose_carlos Donating Member (8 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-18-05 07:22 AM
Response to Original message
42. dear jean
That was indeed eloquent. I am convinced that part of the
right's agenda is to dismantle all forms of public services,
to be replaced with privatized, 'faith based' institutions
in order to further promote this theocracy that some envision
for America.

This according to theocracywatch.org is one way in which they
can further their restoration of the 'family unit', create a
de facto Christian govt in the US, and destroy all support from
the lower and middle classes (the latter being slowly dismantled
by sending jobs overseas, breaking down labor unions, cafta/nafta
and the like, outsourcing, thereby forcing us working Americans
to have to take 2 and 3 jobs to survive, eroding our moral and
monetary power to oppose GOP tyranny).

According to Dubya, it would be easier if it were a dictatorship,
as long as he is the dictator. Well, he has practically achieved
it.
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Northwind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-18-05 08:24 AM
Response to Original message
43. KICKs and Kudos
From a fellow Dallasite!
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powergirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-18-05 09:58 AM
Response to Original message
44. AS PROMISED - HERE IS SOME HATE MAIL RESPONDING TO THE COLUMN
Here is a piece of hate mail I received from a "fan." When I receive stuff like this, it makes me feel like I'm doing a good job.:evilgrin:

I will never understand why people like you who can bash something that they never lived. Of course, you think this is the "wonerful life" of women working, kids on the street or at the mall, dads off at the sports bar and eveyone driving a BMW and the BIGG house in the best part of town.
I lived the best years and the June Cleaver years. It WAS the good days that you never lived in and never knew.
Recently our high school class had the 50th anniversary and out of the that class there was only three people who did not have the wives of over 45 years and those three has lost their wives and remarried. Also none had kids that had ever been in jail and proudly showed pictures of their families with grandchildren.
So you don't know what you missed, now you can stuff your purse with dollars from the so called good times divorce suckers that live the todays level of living. Of course you don't want to see the GOOD OLD DAYS.
Been there, done that.
Gramps
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SemperEadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-18-05 10:42 AM
Response to Reply #44
45. hey Gramps
I will never understand why people like you who can bash something that they never lived. Of course, you think this is the "wonerful life" of women working, kids on the street or at the mall, dads off at the sports bar and eveyone driving a BMW and the BIGG house in the best part of town.
I lived the best years and the June Cleaver years. It WAS the good days that you never lived in and never knew.




So you don't know what you missed, now you can stuff your purse with dollars from the so called good times divorce suckers that live the todays level of living. Of course you don't want to see the GOOD OLD DAYS.
Been there, done that.




This is what Gramps wants a return to, but he doesn't even have the courage of his convictions to declare it and put his name to it, just the cacaphony of a coward hiding behind a nebulous moniker.
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tanyev Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-18-05 10:47 AM
Response to Original message
46. WTG, powergirl!
I live in Plano too. Can I call you if I ever find myself unjustly imprisoned?
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starchimes Donating Member (80 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-18-05 12:49 PM
Response to Reply #46
47. Way to go Jean. There are more of us blue supporters than
you might think here. I live in Garland. I work in Richardson. In our small office of about 45, the blues are the most vocal. We are making a difference. Keep it up!
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newyawker99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-19-05 11:16 AM
Response to Reply #47
51. Hi starchimes!!
Welcome to DU!! :toast:
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Kire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-18-05 02:32 PM
Response to Original message
49. 1950's should be known for the breakdown of the *extended family*
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ElsewheresDaughter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-18-05 05:56 PM
Response to Original message
50. spot on!
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