I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com