Inadvertently funny hypo-christian film reviews

[KurtNYC]

This is a website put up by a guy who goes to every film imaginable in the name of scoring it's appropriateness for children to view it. He goes not just to films clearly aimed at children but especially to those which are NOT. EG, what are the chances that a fundy Christian website will find SouthPark the Movie appropriate for children? But it seems to be his excuse to go.

He has to see these vile films so he can protect the children from them you see.

Pick your favorite film on this list and see what he said about it:
http://www.capalert.com/capreports/#TLIST

8 Mile - No less than 368 uses of some form of foul, vulgar language in 105 minutes. Two-hundred and twenty were the most foul of the foul words...

Harry Potter - they list the film's crimes including:mirror to show deepest desires
elixir of life to make immortal
half man, half horse beast
protection by unholy force
broom riding, repeatedly
attempted murder with witchcraft/sorcery, repeatedly
offer to resurrect parents by unholy force
"There is no good or evil. There's only power" (Voldemort)
talking witches hat
witchcraft/sorcery to create food
paintings with moving subjects, repeatedly
teaching the use of potions to control others and even "stopper" death
evil eyes, repeatedly
witchcraft/sorcery incantation to do harm
Christmas without Jesus Say no more.

[Hugin]

1. I's a good bet you aren't going to hear "Bulls**t" in any of those either.

I'm scarred for life Novak!

[Wapsie B]

2. Oh the children! The children!

He'll probably use that same excuse when he adds to his porn collection.

:evilgrin:

[zbdent]

3. It's a good thing that the mirror showed Harry his deepest desires

at age 11, instead of a few years later . . . Hermione & any other Hogwarts' females butt naked . . .

[grace0418]

4. Read the review of Babe, Pig in the City

HI-FUCKING-LARIOUS! Adult underpants! GASP! THE HORROR!

Babe: Pig in the City was a delightful romp into fantasy. To help the farmer out of financial collapse, Babe and the farmer's wife traveled to the city to perform for money to save the farm. A truly righteous and commendable goal. But then...

The big city presented `big city' ethics. Women skating around in thong bikinis, if I know what thong bikinis look like, with the sides of their breasts and much of the buttocks hanging out. Punks and hoods trying to steal purses. The "take care of number 1" distortion of unselfishness. And adult underwear -- twice. There was even token gunfire...at the pig's best friend, the duck. The movie could have been as good if portrayal of animal control police as brutal and adults hanging onto an ambulance while riding a bike were left out. Efficient portrayal of the sorrows caused by the loss of a caregiver due to a medical emergency (ostensibly death) might have planted emotions in the heart of the younger viewer which could be better handled and understood by adults. Atypical of movies nowadays, Babe: Pig in the City presented only one use of God's name in vain, and without the four letter word expletive.

Of significant importance to the Christian viewer, Babe presented an out-of-body experience and resurrection. A dog, both rear legs paralyzed riding around in a special wheeled prosthetic, was seen quivering after a trauma with the next scene of the dog jumping around after butterflies in a colorful meadow. Then the other animals called to the dog and he recovered. Only Jesus can resurrect. And the only resurrections were those performed by Jesus, including His own.

While there was no programming in Babe: Pig in the City which was particularly invasive, the sum of all that was questionable might confuse wholesome behavioral development. As with all movies, you kids will need your guidance with some issues presented in Babe: Pig in the City.

Now that I have painted a somewhat dark picture of Babe: Pig in the City, please note that this is indeed a rare movie -- it is the first in as long as I can remember that the Impunity/Hate score WAS NOT the lowest of all Investigation Areas scores. It is defintely NOT an up-yours movie: there are NO FOUL LANGUAGE NOR ADOLESCENT ARROGANCE!

[Kraklen]

5. broom riding? repeatedly?

I think we all know what that means.

[madmom]

6. witchcraft/sorcery to create food?..don't they do that in the bible too?

:shrug: