How does one deal with a lack of external encouragement in their life?

[Wapsie B]

I understand the power of a positive mental state for functioning well and acheiving your full potential. Affirmations and goal setting are fine and good but I've yet to do that on a consistent basis enough to have any results. I have to believe in the here and now that it's going to work before I invest even a second of my time.

I'm seem to have been looking for encouragement from others around me that I think I need but have never received. I can't remember having a job where I felt nurtured and encouraged to grow and develop. School was the same way as I wanted desperately for someone to show me my path. I envied the A students where teachers took them aside and encouraged them to develop their talents. Where they got an ego boost I got nothing. If someone were to ask me about an influential person in my life who gave me direction it would be impossible for me to answer that. I've had this feeling of just having to fend for myself like a ship without a rudder. Never had a teacher, minister, role model who I thought cared about me as a person.

Love? Well we won't even go there.

I still seem to be looking for my ego boosters that I never had. This feeling of going it alone has given me a cynicism about human nature that is hard to shake. It has made me put a distance between myself and others, not being able to put complete trust in anyone. So how do people find the power within themselves in the here and now? I'm not talking about affirmations or goal-setting for sometime in the murky future but how to live in the present.

[cestpaspossible]

1. Alcohol can deaden the pain in the short term.

Long term, I have no insight for you. Perhaps an undending series of distractions?

[valis]

4. start drinking when you are down and you'll find yourself

on the street before you know it...

[cestpaspossible]

42. There's a possible downside to drinking?

I had no idea.. thanks for the heads up.

[Nikia]

13. Don't turn to addictions

They won't solve the problem, but that they can become the problem.

[valis]

16. well said.

[JVS]

68. Drinking is cool!

[MADem]

2. It's one of those circles, ya give, ya get

Throw yourself into something that interests you, that benefits others, work at it, and the cycle will begin. Volunteer work, a community project, a political effort...whatever floats your boat. Ya give, ya get. That is my experience, anyway.

[DrDebug]

3. A smile will always help

Let's play the joker

[xmas74]

5. I just tell myself that some people's attitudes

aren't f*ckin' worth it.
A teacher in jr high school informed me that I wasn't good enough to even work in fast food. He used to call me in his classroom during his free period and tell me this while standing behind me and rubbing up against me (I was 12).
One day, I told him to f*ck off and I stomped on his foot. I got a week of detention. No one believed my story. I got it even worse when I got home from school.
Now, no one talks about it but I think that everyone believes my story (since he is now in prison for killing his son, other women have come forward and admitted to similar experiences that he put them through in jr high school). They won't talk about it and they won't admit that they were wrong. It still seems to be considered to be my fault.
That's why I say f*ck 'em! F*ck them all! Sometimes, you can only depend on yourself. No one else will protect you. No one else will believe you. No one else will encourage you. Don't let anyone get you down. You know what you can do and what is right for you.

[CrownPrinceBandar]

9. Unfortunately, you are right..........

there used to be a time in this society where there was alot of support for folks feeling down and directionless. Hell, in the UK, vocation-challenged folks have state support in finding work that suits them.

However, here in America, its a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality, and be damned the folks who can't get all the encouragement they need. Confusion and lack of focus are seen as character defects to be punished, not ultimately addressable issues.

Also, the competitive nature of society here hurts folks who aren't overwhelmingly driven. If you can't keep up with the Jones', then too fucking bad, that's your problem. "They got theirs by working hard and achieving, why can't you?" seems to be the mentality here. Cut-throat attitudes like that only fly in the face of the truth that society is only as strong as its weakest member, and America HATES weakness.

Xmas, sorry about your experience. Sounds like your ex-teacher got what he deserves.

[xmas74]

11. He deserved worse.

And I live in an area where the attitude of "pull yourself by your bootstraps" is the norm.

[Wapsie B]

26. Omg.

What an incredible story. There's a special place in hell for people like that, whether or not he killed someone.
That's why I've tried to be self-reliant, knowing that the praise I seek won't come from outside me but from within.

[xmas74]

27. He wasn't the only one in my school district

(but he was the only one who pulled that crap on me). There were other teachers doing the same touchy-feely crap. Most have been terminated. I can think of two who are still at my old high school.
My old school district is a cesspool. That's why I moved-so that my child would never have to deal w/ those assholes.

[Wapsie B]

28. That is incredible.

I am so sorry you had to go through an experience like that. But thank god you moved away for your child.

[xmas74]

35. I feel bad for the ones who are still there.

It's a small town where nearly everyone is related to everyone else. If they went after a few of the teachers, then families would be fighting families.

[Wapsie B]

38. I know that type of place.

I grew up in a rural area like that. Everyone knows everyone else's business and lines of dispute are clearly drawn. I know about fighting families having grown up in one.

[xmas74]

39. One of the teachers still doing this

is a high school coach w/ 30 years on the job. He is also from one of the wealthiest families in town. He's been reported on many occasions but no one will touch him.

[Wapsie B]

44. Oh god.

That's just sick. I'd love to think that karma would get him in the end.
Let me guess. He's either a football or basketball coach.

[xmas74]

46. Debate.

Mostly girls on the squad. And there are overnight trips. Plus, girls tennis. I guess he likes the skirts.

[Wapsie B]

48. Really?

Oh god when I just read this the first thing I thought of was underage sex. Christ, he must have lots of girls, now grown women as his victims.

[xmas74]

50. Yep.

And the ones he's not sure about-he waits until the day of graduation and hits on them.

[Wapsie B]

53. Good god.

It's amazing this guy is still walking free. Can anyone say child molester? Rapist? It can't be that hard for him to get laid by a consenting adult.

[xmas74]

59. I don't know if he likes adults.

They tend to have thoughts independent of his.

[Wapsie B]

60. How true.

I was just wondering if he'd ever have any longer term relationship, ala Mary Kay Latourneau.

[xmas74]

62. A two year one.

They stated officially dating the day after she graduated from high school. Most of us knew that it had been going on alot longer-like from the age of 15.

[Wapsie B]

63. Any kids from that coupling?

What a story!

[xmas74]

65. Nope.

But she later on married a local dentist who left his wife. He was twice her age. They have four children together and she is a "good Christian" now.

[Shoeempress]

6. I fall into the "living well is the best revenge" category. Parents

uninterested in me beyond being the "dutiful daughter" (man did that backfire), teachers assumed I could easily do whatever so they paid little attention to me, never had a job with anything close to a mentor, am incredibly cynical about anyone who isn't my Husband and I think that's actually good. Husband in a vastly different career from me and is far more successful, so he can applaud, but that's it. You have to find your own motivation. What makes you feel like a success? It doesn't have to be your job, it can be anything and you need to do whatever that is again and again. Good luck.

[amazona]

7. encouragement from others is meaningless

Indeed, as a child, if an adult expressed too much interest and encouragement, I would leave the hobby or study, because they were making it about them and about pleasing them instead of about pleasing me and finding my own way.

I honestly don't know what to tell you. Either your own internal encouragement is enough or it isn't. There is no amount of encouragement that comes from outside that can ever be enough. If anything, too much external encouragement is a form of behavior modification and manipulation. If you don't believe me, learn more about how animals are trained -- it's all about the positive reinforcement.

Be proud to color outside the lines. The great discoveries were never made by those who needed encouragement from outside.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[WolverineDG]

8. Your experience sounds like mine

It sounds like you need to work on what I need to work on: Stop focusing on what other people think about who you are & what you're doing/how you're going about it. I wasted alot of time telling myself that compliments & encouragement from "strangers" didn't mean anything because they weren't from family or friends, ie the "more important" people. Does this make sense? I still have problems with this.

dg

[amazona]

15. yeah focusing on what other people think is a waste

Your post reminds me of a friend's favorite motto: We wouldn't worry so much about what other people thought of us if we realized how seldom they did.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[all.of.me]

51. lol - great quote!

we can be so self-absorbed. it's all about ME! when in reality, it isn't.

[n2mark]

19. Encouragement

I've never been given much encouragement either but with time I learned to encourage myself and the heck with what others were saying. Sometimes encouragement can be false because there are those who would like to see someone fail due to their own greed or satisfaction. I'm my own best friend and I am my own parent. Don't get me wrong, there are times I fall into the trap wanting to have compliments but very seldom anymore.

There is a book out there that discusses this type of thing. Maybe someone here at DU knows the title and author. It discusses the child in us, the parent in us and the adult in us and how these three relate to our feelings and behaviors. I read this years ago.


There are some books written for (not sure if you experienced this) adult children of alcoholics.

Just keep complimenting yourself and become friends with yourself. Encourage yourself.

My father use to tell me I would not amount to anything, that I was stupid and lazy. Well, he was wrong. This did not get in the way of becoming successful in my life. Actually my mother was the same. When I would succeed she performed all the guilt trips possible. No way, I knew better. All is can say is believe in yourself and read all the books you can that will give you encouragement about yourself. Oh, stay away from negative people! Those type of people enjoy sending out negative vibes. Select positive friends! When you have positive friends in your life you will forget about their encourgement because positive people give encouragement. I don't know if this helps you but I've been there, done that and no more, not ever unless my minds snaps and I go the other way. Today I am one happy senior!

Yep, I was a success, held a job for 23 years in management without a degree, where others in the same position had degrees. My area was the tops with the Health Department too. My children are doing great. I own a house. I'm retired with a pension and SS, and have a little savings. I'm happy probably the happiest I've ever been in my life.
I have problems personally, they never go away. We all have something to improve in our lives. No one is perfect.

Hope I made sense to you. Feel free to contact me if you need to talk.

[Wapsie B]

25. Yes it makes sense.

Thanks.

[CJCRANE]

10. It's all about context -

Here's my story:

My mum is English and I've lived in England most of my life where I'm just a regular guy. My dad is from a small tropical island.

At the age of 22 I went to my dad's home island for the first time. Suddenly I was the most popular guy ever, everyone was nice to me. It was pretty much an ugly duckling into swan situation.

Now the thing is, I was still exactly the same person, looked the same and acted the same. But in this new context I was "the man".

What I learnt from this is that you are just as good (or bad) as anyone else but certain places are better for you (whether it's because your family are there or you're with like-minded people or even just in a town/country where everyone's friendly).

[Selatius]

12. I just clamped down and concentrated on the present

Just concentrate on what you have to do for that day only. Live day by day. Don't concentrate on bigger life issues because if the visage is as bleak as mine was, you're going to be overwhelmed and thrown deeper into depression. If it gets harder, you may have to live from one hour to the next or even from one second to the next.

This is what I had to deal with back in high school. It was so bad I remember thinking I wanted to die each day I woke up, but I endured. (I hear suicide is still the #1 killer of teenagers) I'm in college now and doing better, with a few ups and downs here and there, but I'm living. I waited long enough and weathered the storm. I crawled my way past it even though it was excruciatingly slow and painful at times, and things changed, eventually.

I didn't have much external support either, so I had to drag myself forward. The will to live for me was strong; it eventually overcame my desire for suicide. Sometimes when the lights finally go out, you are your only source of light. You just have to dig deep to find it.

Ultimately, the motivation I found inside me was the bare-knuckled desire to live. I didn't want to die.

[Deja Q]

14. Pills, booze, dollar bills, kleenex, television, sniffing scented candles.

[ChiciB1]

17. As A Boomer... I'm interested

in knowing how old are?? Gives me perspective about coming events, because YOUR perspective (I assume you're younger than me) will be "the future" of today! And in that future will be the "political climate" formulating a budding awareness of what is happening in YOUR lives today. Your message of disparity MEANS something. And it's pretty sad.

Your Government has become "Greedy"! More so than I'VE ever seen in my life! Remember I lived through Viet Nam with a Vengeance of My Youth!! I had friends who died there, the names on The Wall in Washington, D.C. have been visited by me. What is more, is that I was an "Army Brat" brought up in a time when the military was sensible. Eisenhower was sort of an interim fluke, he didn't really have to confront "major issues" of the magnitude we live in today" on the rebound of a big win in WWII!

Shorty thereafter came OUR REVOLUTION! And anyone who lived through that period in time conjures up memories of "activism", and you feel Proud to have been a part of it. I know I DO!

Your quest is to have the "belief" that there IS something better out there! And you need to DO Something To MAKE your GENERATION remembered for SOMETHING. We DID make a DIFFERENCE! It's NOT out of your reach.

That's MY sermon for today! Guess I'm just feeling nostalgic! It HAPPENS!

[Wapsie B]

29. I'm 48

and still searching for answers.

[ChiciB1]

31. WoW....

Not as young as I thought! But still young enough to push "Energy"!

I can't even imagine living in a world where "politics" took a BY-PASS.

But I think you would agree that you just missed the "activism"! What you are experiencing as a life is the "80's mentality. You missed out on a "Leave It To Beaver" Simplicity that stirred an era to say... Hey It Ain't So!!

When it became apparent that we had been LIED to, we got angry. 48, old enough to be influential. Your generation seems to have taken a "bye"! Not being rude, but I find that for the past 15 to 20 years, you've been sitting one the sidelines. Mostly being dictated by what you are being fed.

A few like you have sought some succor. Kudos!

[Wapsie B]

34. Yeah even though I was in college in the mid 70's,

there wasn't a lot of activism that I could see. People were into the usual things, experimenting with drugs, exploring sex. Well some people anyway. But push Engergy? Don't know what you mean by that.

[all.of.me]

52. i'm 51 and still asking questions

my mother is 92 and doing the same thing.

life is a process, a never-ending process. enjoy the ride.

read 'the power of now' by eckhart tolle for great info about living in the present.

[Wapsie B]

54. That's what I'm trying to do.

Live my life of curiosity and live to my full potential.

[skygazer]

18. You are laboring under a misapprehension

While the affirmation and approval of others can be a positive influence, the only real incentive to doing well comes from yourself. Who are you living for? You or other people?

I have never been a person who's gotten much outside encouragement - my mom died when I was young and my dad essentially abandoned me. This put a big damper on any romantic relationships I've ever had - big fear of abandonment gave me a chip on my shoulder the size of the Brooklyn Bridge. Yet I've always done well in my jobs and have been respected by my employers and fellow workers. Why? Because I've always strived to prove to myself that I can do anything. And I have.

Rather than refusing to invest any time in anything unless you are sure it's going to work (a sure recipe for failure), accept that not everything does work but go into it with the idea that you'll MAKE it work. You don't need other people to do that - only yourself.

Let the glass be half full.

[supernova]

20. Start doing things you care about

You will naturally be drawn to people who will want to mentor you. And you will recieve the feedback you seek.

And you will have to learn how to put that feedback in context. Is the advice helpful to you? Do you learn anything from it? It is even appropriate? Sometimes people give lots of praise based upon what they think they see, rather than what you truely are and want to become.

Having said all that, you have to learn to do things, go after your passions, for your own reasons and own fulfillment. No one can give you that but you.

[Kenneth ken]

21. first you have to WANT to succeed

at whatever it is. " I have to believe in the here and now that it's going to work before I invest even a second of my time. " That's a defeatist attitude that only allows you to fail without effort. It will never allow you to succeed.

Here's one of my favorite bits of wisdom:

You can choose to be with me or not, but I have to stay with me. - Ashleigh Brilliant

For quite a long time I read that as "lucky you, you can leave any time you want." Then one day I read it and it dawned on me that regardless of anyone else, I had to stay in my life, so I might just as well make it something I was content to live with, and who cares what anyone else thought of it? They after all, didn't have to live it.

So from that perspective, I could look at my own past and re-evaluate things and say this was successful because I gained x - maybe a bit of wisdom, maybe a bit of financial security - whatever I labeled as beneficial to me.

In my work I have never had a career, but I have managed to keep employed in the same line of work for 25 years, so that is "success" of a type, and good enough for me - I keep a roof over my head, keep the cats fed, and am not drowning in debt; though some times have been pretty shaky on some of those points.

In love I have never come close to being married, so if that is the goal, I've failed, but on the other hand, I have learned to treat women decently, to forgive cruelties, and to be kind. All that is valuable to me, so from my perspective, I've been reasonably successful. Plus, I'm still alive, so maybe someone will come along and I'll take another shot at trying to build a loving relationship that leads to marriage and lasts forever.

External encouragement. On this thread you're getting that, it is up to you how valuable you consider it. If you are looking for a "right answer" you may be disappointed; if you look at it as everyone who responds with empathy, compassion, or kind thoughts as being a source of external encouragement, then you may be encouraged.

Kindness is something I value in me, so as I go through life I look for opportunities to be kind. At the checkout in stores, typically the person running the register will say 'have a nice day.' I like to respond with 'I hope you have a lovely rest of the day as well' or 'I hope you have a terrific day' it usually catches their attention, and so to me it is a kindness successfully given, as opposed to a mindless comment.

I put kindness out there, and I know it comes back, because in my sig line I have records of it. nsma told me once I was charming as hell on DU, so I laughed and put her comment in my sig line. Dem2theMax gave me the spinning yin-yang gif, so I put that in my sig line as well.

For you, I give all the words above, and that is a kindness; but only you can decide if they have value for you.

:hug: I wish you success and happiness; however you define those terms!

:hi:

[LaurenG]

22. Take care of you

What do you like to do? What do YOU want. Just FYI, most of us aren't born knowing what we want to do. Some have parents who choose for them but the majority of us are just regular Joe's who haven't figured out that what we should be doing is what we would like to be doing. (exclude negative stuff).

So if you love politics, guess what, or if you love kids or animals or books. Do what you love, you will be good at it just because you love doing it. Love you, you are already whole, treat yourself accordingly and with value.

[Jade Fox]

23. It's not a matter of ego....

Validation is something everyone needs. My current job offers none, and
I've become hyper-aware of how draining it is to be in an environment
where your good work in never good enough, and all your mistakes are
pointed out to you. Fortunately, I have outside sources of validation in
the form of support groups, etc. I suggest you look for something like
that for yourself. :pals:

[Wapsie B]

24. Yes that's a good idea.

One reason why I come here. To try and see how others cope with what's going on around them. :pals:

[Xipe Totec]

30. Here is a thought

Find people around you that you really like and respect, and tell them how much you admire them. Look at yourself, feel the void in your heart, and realize that those around you feel that void as well. Have pity on those around you and realize that they too thirst for love and encouragement.

It may not satisfy your needs, but at least it will satisfy theirs. And for a moment, perhaps, you will forget about your own void even if it is still there.

Fiat Lux
(Let there be light)

-Xipe

[ChiciB1]

32. It'd Sad That We Have To Feel a Void...

It's Sad!

[Xipe Totec]

33. Yet, it is in our nature to feel it.

We are social creatures by nature and solitude is our bane:

"When we take a survey of nature, we view man in his infancy more helpless and indigent than the brute creation; he lies languishing for days, months and years, totally incapable of providing sustenance for himself, or guarding against the attack of wild beasts of the field, or sheltering himself from the inclemencies of the weather.

It might have pleased the great Creator of heaven and earth to have made man independent of all other beings; but, as dependence is one of the strongest bonds of society, mankind were made dependent upon each other for protection and security, as they thereby enjoy better opportunities of fulfilling the duties of reciprocal love and friendship. Thus was man formed for social and active life."

[Wapsie B]

36. I try to do that,

offering words of comfort to those I deal with, words that I didn't get at times. It makes me feel good to help others like that and it does make me forget my void for awhile.

[Xipe Totec]

43. And that is good.

Today I went for a walk in the neighborhood, as I try to do as often as I can, and I saw an earthworm baking on the pavement; sun burnt, covered in sand, but still alive. I walked ten paces past it and could not go any further. I had to go back,pick it up, and put it back in the wet grass. I don't know if it will make it, but at least I know that I tried to help another living being today.

WHEN YOU LEARN TO FIND A SMILE

ENRIQUE GONZALEZ MARTINEZ
Mexican Diplomat and Poet
(1871-1952)

http://palabravirtual.com/index.php?ir=ver_poema1.php&pid=378


When you learn to find a smile
in the subtle drops that exude
from porous rocks in the mist,
or from the sun, the birds, and the breeze;

When nothing to your eyes remains lifeless,
or amorphous, or colorless, or distant,
and you grasp life and the mysteries
of silence, shadows and death.

When you can cast your gaze at the different
paths of the cosmos, and your effort
becomes a potent microscope
that discovers invisible universes;

Only then in a blazing bonfire
of infinite and superhuman love,
like St. Francis of Assisi, will make brothers
of the tree, the jungle and the beast.

And you will feel in the immense multitude
of beings and things your own self;
and will become fear itself before the abyss
and will become pride itself upon the summit.

Your love will shake off the defiling pollen
that stains the very whiteness of the lily,
you will bless the sandy seashores
and cherish the flight of insects;

And you will kiss the briar thorns
And the silky petals of the dahlias…
And piously cast off your sandals
to keep from hurting the stones along your path.

[graywarrior]

37. A lot of the feelings you are describing are based in shame

Shame is an emotion we really know nothing about, in fact there are no facial expressions that reveal shame. We learn it in infancy. It can be devastating if we don't realize it is the basis for all our emotions and how we show ourselves to others.

Stop letting people shame you. You are as good as anyone else. People shame others because they learned it from their parents who learned it from their parents and on and on. Don't fall for it. You are not a piece of dirt. You shine. You are cool, dammit.

Whenever someone tries to shame you again, realize it's a symptom of our culture.

Rock on.

[Wapsie B]

41. Yes you're right.

Wow your words really resonate with me. Thank you.

[graywarrior]

49. You are welcome. Took me half a century to get it.

There's lots of stuff on the internet(s) about shaming. Read about it. It makes total sense.

[hickman1937]

40. I've learned in my 50 years that if you need approval from

other people, they will withhold it. I think it's a power thing, but I don't know. Start by paying attention to the good things in yourself. I was told by a counselor once to put it down on paper. My negative list was a mile long, my positive list stopped after about 5 things, one of which was my feet. The counselor told me something like, well thats how people see you. If you see yourself as a bunch of flaws, everyone else will take you at your own evaluation. I didn't have the money to pursue it, but I did realize that the general public could kiss my ass till I got some self esteem. I also finally realized that disapproval usually came from someone's need to feel superior, or more sucessful, or whatever. People in my life now have to earn the right for me to take their disapproval seriously. I was manipulated, and hammered with that crap for too long. Be on your own side. I hope this makes sense. I've had the week from hell, and am now having a drink.

[Wapsie B]

47. Sometimes all I could think of

was the negative comments of others. I know what you're talking about. It makes perfect sense. Enjoy your drink.

:toast:

[Tsiyu]

45. Some quotations

"Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." John Wooden

"Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be." Clementine Paddleford

"You are the product of your own brainstorm." Rosemary Steinbaum

"Stand tall and the world will rise up with you." Anny Namus

;)

[Wapsie B]

58. I love those.

Thank you.

;-)

[leftofthedial]

55. turn to the dark side

[Crazy Guggenheim]

56. YES!

[Wapsie B]

57. LOL!

God I needed the laugh. Thanks.

:rofl:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

61. You just have to do what your inner voice is telling you

whether other people like it or not.

If you're on the right path, validation will come eventually.

People actively discouraged me from going to graduate school, from going to Japan, and from becoming self-employed. They tried to discourage me from leaving Portland.

I didn't listen.

All these decisions that people tried to talk me out of have turned out to be good decisions. For the most part, I loved graduate school and made some life-long friends. Going to Japan was the beginning of a rewarding and life-long involvement with that country. Becoming self-employed led to a point where I feel that I've really hit my stride and am well-regarded in the profession. Leaving Portland has gotten me out of rut and into some new and interesting experiences.

They say, "Do what you love, and the money will follow." "Do what you love and the validation will follow."

(By the way, :hi: and glad you could make it to the last Minnesota gathering.)

[leftofthedial]

64. yeah, like I said, use the force

[Wapsie B]

66. That's what I've been trying to do,

to get into touch with that inner voice. My only regrets in life have been when I didn't trust my inner judgement and listened to the naysaying and negativity of others. I'm feeling the need for a move such as yours, maybe not geographically but at least professionally.

Thank you. I'm glad I could make it to the meetup too. I'm going to be at the one in June too.

:hi:

[katinmn]

67. Glad you started this thread. Lots of good advice in here for

a lot of people.

Something I realized within the last few years is that I tended to decline help. I thought I was totally self sufficient and didn't need advice or help. I'd just muddle through. I was always the listener but never thought I needed anyone to listen to me.

Well, that's just silly.

It's hard to step out of the comfort zone but the only way to bring people close to you is to share of yourself. We are more alike than we are different. No matter what we think and feel, someone else has felt it, too.

I think several people had the best advice of all -- follow your passions and happiness will follow.

Look forward to seeing you in June.
:)