Garrison Keillor:...Start slinging that mud!

[babylonsister]

Give us the lash, Mitt

All you presidential hopefuls sound like you're campaigning for student council at a Quaker high school. Start slinging that mud!

By Garrison Keillor


Jan. 16, 2008 | Another fine political year is upon us with seesaw races and fresh-baked dramas daily, high dudgeon, flights of fancy, tireless flesh-pressing, and thanks to the Web, you can feast on it anytime night or day, no need to sit by a TV and wait for the show to start.

If reality has any bearing on the 2008 election, it should be a Democratic year, but campaigns are romantic ventures and illusion is part of the deal, just as in actual courtship. So anything is possible. And that's what makes a man walk barefoot out on a freezing-cold porch floor and pick up the paper in the morning. While the Democrats are talking wonkish talk about healthcare and education, you are waiting for three Iranians in a skiff to hurl loose gravel at an American aircraft carrier and for this to become the next chapter in the war against terror and give Mr. Giuliani a chance to talk about waterboarding again.

Before we get to the monster February primaries, however, let's clear the air on the subject of Going Negative, which various candidates are said to have done from time to time.

All of the presidential hopefuls out there, save the ones from the Aryan Party and the Animal Rights Coalition, are locked into a standard of limp decorum such as one would find in a campaign for student council at a Quaker high school. There is less name-calling or mudslinging or true feeling than you'd find in any living room with an NFL game on the TV.

Look at any newspaper story with the verb "blasted" or "lashed out" in the headline and you're astonished at what passes for blasting and lashing these days. If one candidate questions another candidate's version of the facts, this is considered a blast, though there is no explosion, just some light poking.

The Washington Post said Mike Huckabee "lashed out" at Mitt Romney for having shifted positions on abortion and gun control, and ABC News said Barack Obama "lashed out" at Bill Clinton for mischaracterizing Obama's record on the war in Iraq, and meanwhile, according to Time, Hillary Clinton "lashed out" at both Obama and John Edwards in the New Hampshire debate, though it didn't mention what she was lashing about. NPR said John McCain "lashed out" at Romney for saying McCain had voted against tax cuts in the Senate, and the Chicago Tribune reported that Romney "lashed out" at McCain for being "pessimistic" about the prospects of job growth in Michigan.

The word "lash" suggests a swift hard blow and a KRRRAAACKKKKK and probably an AIIIIEEEEEEEE. A whip might be involved, or bare knuckles. To accuse someone of pessimism does not qualify as lashing. The word is "chiding," or perhaps "fussing at," or "taking to task." When Miss Moehlenbrock in the fourth grade told you that the Civil War started in 1861 and not 1863, she was not lashing out, she was correcting you.

more...

http://www.salon.com/opinion/keillor/2008/01/16/candidates/

[road2000]

1. My Hero! n/t

[TheDoorbellRang]

2. Ah, wit. We see so little of it

Loved these quotes:

Winston Churchill re an arrogant opponent:
"There, but for the grace of God, goes God!"
and re another opponent:
"He is a modest little man with much to be modest about."

[nancyr]

3. Wit!

We are in desperate need of wit!