Democratic Underground

Equal Time with Bob Boudelang

"It’s Still Yellow Alert!!! It’s Still Yellow Alert!!! It’s Still Yellow Alert!!! It’s Still Yellow Alert!!!"

July 10, 2004
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

Get out the duck tape and saran wrap because it is Yellow Alert!!! again, just as it was before the day before yesterday. But now Our Great Homely Secretary of Security Tom (who is not a laughing stock) Ridge told us that terrorists could attack anywhere, anyhow and anytime, although we do not know where, how or when, so it is a special Yellow Alert!!! This is a time for all Americans like me to be even Yellower than usual and run around like chickens with our heads cut off instead of going about our ordinary humdrum dreary everyday lives.

And this is not just like the boy who shouted Woof! Instead it is based on careful intelligence of the sort that totally misled Our Great President into going to war in Iraq even though he really did not want to. Alkaheeda wants to disrupt the elections and that is why it is important to think now about keeping that from happening by looking for ways to postpone the election until people vote for our Great President and not John Kerry.

Otherwise the terrorists will have won…or the Democraps, which is the same thing. We may not know where Osama is but we know who he wants for President, and that is not the man who attacked Iraq when Osama was hiding in Pakistan, which was not Our Great President’s fault.

But there is no question that Our Great President is coasting toward victory, even if by some unlucky chance votes get counted. Look at how frantic the DemoncRats have gotten.

What could be more desperate than nominating someone who can talk to dead people for vice president? I ask you?

It is clear John Edwards has not got enough experience to be vice president. Would he know enough to go hunting with Judge Scalya so that he could hide that he had met with Ken Lay, as Dick Cheney did? Would he have the gravel tass to insist that Sodom Husane attacked us on 9/11 even when there was no evidence Sodom Husane was involved? You do not even have to think about it to know.

And let me ask you this: If John Kerry did nothing while our country was attacked except run and hide for a day, and afterwards helped the family of the person who attacked us out of the country, and then had to meet with a commission investigating the attack, would John Kerry have John Edwards help him answer questions off the record behind closed doors? I think the answer is obvious.

But who is not disgusted at how low LIEberals have sunk? For example, Kerry and Edwards held a funraiser where some "so called" comedian had the nerve to make jokes about Our Great President and female jenny taylor! And they did not complain! That is just offensive to every American who is disgusted by female jenny taylor, unlike saying Kerry and Edwards are really homosexual and gay, which is too funny and does not mean anything about Republicans. So stop saying that.

But then the Democrap idea of funny is to have a picture of George W. eating a headless child. LIEberals cannot prove Our Great President ever ate a child…or that when he did, it did not have a head. And they know it, too!

Enclosing, let us hope we have heard the last about George W. deserting during wartime and not showing up in Alabama like he was supposed to, since it turns out the records were accidentally destroyed all along. It is just an honest mix-up, the way Rose Mary Woods accidentally erased the 18 1/2 minutes of tape when Nixon was discussing Watergate, and could of happened to anyone(9). So I would not give it another thought. Instead let us focus on why John Kerry did not get more wounded when he was hiding in Viet Nam from the draft and other important questions.

Besides, Ken Lay was Ann Richards fault, which is why George W. should not be asked about it out loud.

Meanwhile, I am sorry to say Roger Moore’s disgraceful propaganda that nobody wants to see continues to be in theaters. I went again to protest the movie, and this time I snuck in the middle as I did not want to give money to this disgraceful film.

I planned to sit there quietly among the socialists and extremist moderates and then say in a loud voice at the end that I wanted my money back, as anyone with half a mind like me could see it was a pap of lies. But I was so outraged by what I saw that I could not contain my self.

I stood up and shouted in a loud voice, "This movie is nothing but a pap of lies and Our Great President does not have big metal arms!" And they threw me out! Imagine!

I guess to some people it means nothing to be a Republican team leader. But not to me.

And do not forget that Our Great President has made America safer, and that is why you need duck tape more than ever. Yellow Alert!!!

Bob Boudelang is proud to be a Republican team leader and knows our Great President would never throw a taxicab at anyone, no matter what a certain fat person who shall go nameless but knows who he is says. He can be reached at

Read Bob's Other Rebuttals

 Print this article (printer-friendly version)
Tell a friend about this article  Tell a friend about Bob Boudelang
 Jump to Editorials and Other Articles forum