by Eric Munoz
The destruction of the Twin Towers, the damage to the Pentagon
and the downing of Flight 93 crumbled America's sense of security.
The ailing economy has cost hundreds of thousands of Americans
their jobs. But we can rest assured knowing that George Bush
is our president, our leader, our Comedian-in-Chief. It seems
that no tragedy that befalls us and no economic hardship that
hits us is too great to overcome Mr. Bush's penchant for (not-so-funny)
Here are a few examples of President Bush's stunning displays
- While announcing his Online Relief and Response Effort
in the Rose Garden on September 18th, President Bush introduced
Libby Pataki as Governor George Pataki's "better half."
- According to Mitch Daniels, soon after the September 11th
attacks George Bush, commenting on his campaign pledge to
not tap the surplus unless faced with war, recession or national
emergency, said "Lucky me. I hit the trifecta."
- In his press conference with President Putin at the Crawford
High School a red-haired student named Danny White stood to
ask a question. The President, ever so quick on his feet,
said "Are you sure you don't mean Danny Red." Much to his
own amusement, I'm sure.
- At a town hall meeting in his brother's state of Florida,
a young girl asked about family strength in these uncertain
times and if eating together, as a family, could help and
if that was something George Bush did as a youngster. President
Bush quickly retorted, "I did eat with my family, so long
as my mother wasn't cooking. Wait a minute. Just kidding,
Mom. She was one of the great fast food cooks of all time.
Just kidding, Mom."
How fortunate we are to have such a quick and witty President,
ready with one-liners in almost any circumstance!
Seriously, these remarks are not only poor in their content
but also poor in their timing. As John Leo, conservative writer
for U.S. News and World Report, once remarked, "Our national
father figure needs gravitas." I couldn't agree more, especially
now. Of course he was talking about Bill Clinton. I wonder
what he would have said if Clinton had told bad jokes after
the Oklahoma City Bombing. About his mother.
Now there are some who may say that Bush's remarks lighten
the spirit and are a welcome break in the tension that has
become our lives. Others may say that it just underscores
Bush's folksy demeanor. I might agree if the remarks were
funny. Or if they weren't at the expense of someone else -
it seems President Bush is always joking about someone, either
Gov. Pataki, the high school student Danny White or even his
But more than telling bad jokes, this Frat Boy attitude is
costing this country a tremendous opportunity. Ever since
the September 11th attacks, this country has come together
in such fantastic fashion that anything would be possible.
If President Bush had a real vision for this country there's
no doubt it would be realized.
Just as JFK's vision of putting a man on the moon by the
end of the decade led to what may be man's greatest achievement,
George Bush could lay out a vision for a greater tomorrow.
With the country so united, with people looking and asking
for ways to help in any way possible, there hasn't been a
better chance since WWII to channel America's resolve into
greatness. This generation could be called on to accomplish
lasting improvements in our way of life. Like ending our dependence
on oil, foreign or domestic. Or eliminating poverty and homelessness.
Or finding a cure for diabetes or cancer.
President Bush could call on corporations to look beyond
the bottom line and stop laying off workers. He could truly
strengthen our education system or provide adequate health
care for all Americans. He could help the state and local
governments finance human service and security needs. He could
lead all Americans to tolerance and acceptance of others.
He could just do something.
But instead we get dumb one-liners and tax cuts for the already
well-off and big corporations. We get real deficits over the
next several years. We get platitudes about getting the evil
one. We get proposals for more drilling for more oil. We get
pleas for more traveling and more consumer spending so corporations
can improve their profit margins. We get vague alerts about
credible but non-specific threats. We get John Ashcroft chipping
away at the Bill of Rights.
Here's one for you: What do you get when you cross George
Bush and the greatest opportunity for America in decades?
Nothing. And nobody's laughing.