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Undecided 38%
Elizabeth Warren22%
Joe Biden14%
Bernie Sanders8%
Kamala Harris7%

Wed Aug 14, 2019, 10:26 AM


The 2020 Democratic Candidates' Iowa Food Diaries Are Works of Art [View all]

The 2020 Democratic Candidates' Iowa Food Diaries Are Works of Art
By R. Eric Thomas
Aug 14, 2019
Presidential Candidates Hit The Soapbox At The Iowa State Fair

The thing I like the most about our current way of running elections is that when someone decides they want to be president, we say “Okay, sounds good. Just, if you please, before we vote for you, you have to go to a squarish state in the middle and walk around in the heat eating roughly 9,000 calories of state fair food.”

And the candidates just do it! Can you believe?
Other times we say, "Hey, can you just give us a straight answer from the debate stage?" or "Hey, can you drop out because you're polling at zero percent and all of the second-hand cringe is giving me hives." The candidates do not listen to this; the candidates go "La la la; can't hear you. What's that you want? More merch?!" But when we say, "To ascend to the highest office in the land, you must fly to Iowa on the hottest day of the year and furiously stuff your face" they hop on a bus and floor it. The presidency is an eating contest and I have never been prouder to be an American and someone who definitely gets their money's worth at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Photos have been coming in all week of 2020 Democratic candidates walking around the Iowa State Fair holding large fried things on sticks and warily looking at the ravenous crowd as the crowd chants things like "GOBBLE IT UP!" and "FOOD FOOD TEETH TEETH YUM!" Let me tell you, this is what makes this country great. Frankly, the only reason I would run for president is to eat a fried Oreo in Iowa. I know that I can eat a fried Oreo in Iowa any time I want but I would feel better about it if it was compulsory. "Oh, I must eat this fried Oreo? To defeat Trump, you say? Well, I am a patriot so down the hatch! To freedom!"

Of all the 9,000 candidates currently running for president and eating their way out of the Midwest, I think Mayor Pete's food diary is the most inspirational (and by inspirational, I mean concerning).

According to Adam Wren, who is covering the South Bend, Indiana mayor on the trail, Buttigieg consumed a root beer float, a pork chop on a stick, a gizmo, a bacon ball BLT, fried Oreos, chocolate milk, slushy. BLESS and I cannot stress this enough THIS MESS!


If I were to vote in a presidential
primary today, I would vote for:

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Reply The 2020 Democratic Candidates' Iowa Food Diaries Are Works of Art [View all]
babylonsister Aug 2019 OP
riversedge Aug 2019 #1
The Velveteen Ocelot Aug 2019 #3
riversedge Aug 2019 #4
The Velveteen Ocelot Aug 2019 #5
tblue37 Aug 2019 #2
IrishEyes Aug 2019 #6