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Atheists & Agnostics
In reply to the discussion: What Do You Mean Atheists Don't Have Morals? [View all]EvolveOrConvolve
(6,452 posts)9. I grew up Mormon, so I have no compunctions about posting an unedited version of Twain's missive
Joseph Smith was a con-man and child rapist, and I'll point it out every time the topic of Mormonism's brought up. We're in the Atheists & Agnostics group here, so there's no need for you to censor your posts.
Mark Twain, reviewing the "Book" of Mormon:
All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except the elect have seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble to read it. I brought away a copy from Salt Lake. The book is a curiosity to me, it is such a pretentious affair, and yet so slow, so sleepy; such an insipid mess of inspiration. It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this book, the act was a miraclekeeping awake while he did it was, at any rate. If he, accourding to tradition, merely translated it from certain ancient and mysteriously-engraved plates of copper, which he declares he found under a stone, in an out-of-the-way locality, the work of translating was equally a miracle, for the same reason.
The book seems to be merely a prosy detail of imaginary history, with the Old Testament for a model; followed by a tedious plagiarism of the New Testament. The author labored to give his words and phrases the quaint, old-fashioned sound and structure of our King Jamess translation of the Scriptures; and the result is a mongrelhalf modern glibness, and half ancient simplicity and gravity. The latter is awkward and constrained; the former natural, but grotesque by the contrast. Whenever he found his speech growing too modernwhich was about every sentence or twohe ladled in a few such Scriptural phrases as exceeding sore, and it came to pass, etc., and made things satisfactory again. And it came to pass was his pet. If he had left that out, his Bible would have been only a pamphlet
The book seems to be merely a prosy detail of imaginary history, with the Old Testament for a model; followed by a tedious plagiarism of the New Testament. The author labored to give his words and phrases the quaint, old-fashioned sound and structure of our King Jamess translation of the Scriptures; and the result is a mongrelhalf modern glibness, and half ancient simplicity and gravity. The latter is awkward and constrained; the former natural, but grotesque by the contrast. Whenever he found his speech growing too modernwhich was about every sentence or twohe ladled in a few such Scriptural phrases as exceeding sore, and it came to pass, etc., and made things satisfactory again. And it came to pass was his pet. If he had left that out, his Bible would have been only a pamphlet
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Saying that God is cool has to be sacrilegious. But if you don't believe in God, you can't be
rhett o rick
Aug 2014
#6
I grew up Mormon, so I have no compunctions about posting an unedited version of Twain's missive
EvolveOrConvolve
Aug 2014
#9
Thanks! I saw the thread on the Home page and didn't notice that it was from the A & A group
RufusTFirefly
Aug 2014
#11