Black Folks, It's time to STOP Taking Care of White People.

[Flatulo]

45. Racism towards blacks seems to be something that is very deeply ingrained in white American culture.

As a white liberal, I'd like to believe that I'm not a racist. But I was forced to question my own thoughts and reaction to having a black boss.

Let me explain...

I worked for Digital Equipment Corporation from 1986 until 2000. DEC was a great company with a robust affirmative action program. People of color were in leadership positions throughout the company.

My own group came under the leadership of a black engineer in 1994. I remember thinking firstly, that it was a good choice. Everyone respected Cliff as a good engineer and an excellent mediator. But what struck me was my feeling that this was an impressive achievement for a black man. This was quickly followed by introspection as to why I should feel any kind of special respect or pride for Cliff.

Then I realized that I had fallen into the trap of low expectations for blacks. It was no big deal to see persons of Indian, Pakistani, or Asian origin in leadership positions. Why should I feel that Cliff was something special? I had to confront my own deeply held thought patterns that were holding me hostage to this particular belief, that it was special or unusual for a black man to rise to a position of leadership. I realized that I was indeed a racist, even though I both externally and internally supported Cliff's promotion.

As for Cliff, well, he turned out to be one of the best bosses I ever had. We discussed race in a few of our one-on-one meetings, and I learned a lot from him. He was a great man, and sadly, came down with bone cancer in 1998. He worked right up until the week before he died and he kept his condition to himself. In July of that year my appendix ruptured and I almost died. One of our last conversations was with both of us in our hospital beds. Cliff had called to wish me well, but also to ominously tell me that he would probably not be returning to work and would need me to step up. He died while I was still in the hospital, and I never made it to his funeral, which I deeply regretted.

What did I take away from this? That even well-meaning white people can fall victim to their own deeply held beliefs that blacks are somehow inferior. I'm watchful of this now. It's not something that one can completely turn off (I felt a similar response when Barack Obama was elected POTUS), but recognizing it is a first step towards making sure that it isn't passed down to our children.

I think the best thing we whites can do is to try to break the cycle. My dad wasn't an overt racist, but his attitudes and comments must have rubbed off in me in some way. He'd snicker at racist jokes and I do believe this is picked up by children and thus passed down from generation to generation. As for my son, he is completely color-blind. His little crew includes kids of African descent. Shit, they even have one guy who came out as gay and they accept him like a brother. I think in another hundred or two hundred years we may be a truly color-blind society.