The outside looks pretty good at last. Twenty-one new custom-sized high E windows, etc. And the mechanics have been completely redone. A very small part of the inside has been renovated, basically where I live most and only some of that. But I see exactly what it can be with a lot more time and $, so that keeps me happy. Every detail has been planned out. A good imagination helps. Even though another chunk of plaster fell from the upstairs bathroom ceiling recently and nearly knocked me out. What a way to go that would be!
Since a lot of what I want for the place is hard to find, when I had a little play money I'd periodically search the internet until now I actually have most of the unusual materials collected. What remains is affording the labor. So if I can even do one room a year, that will have to suffice. At least it will be progress.
Oh, I do write letters to the editor of our local weekly with the multi-state circulation, and he always prints them even though he's a RW himself. And during campaign season I'm often out and about in political gear. But forget reasoning with these people; some of them start to literally scream when they see me, no matter what kind of friendly, silly grin is plastered on my face. There's no reasoning with people in a frenzy. Surprisingly, I have received 3 messages of approval for my letters from parties far and wide, and you know what? They were unsigned. The writers too terrified their identities might become public, because they know as well as I do what happens to anyone who swims against the tide in this 'land of the free and home of the brave'. There was a gigantic rotten oak tree in my front yard that had to come down, and the first tree trimmer I called for a bid made it clear my $ wasn't good enough for him. Called me a g-d commie to my face, and he isn't alone.
Yet the good to come out of all this is greater strength on my part and an even fiercer loyalty for those who are at least decent to me, knowing what it can cost them. And the few real friends I've made here? I'd risk my life for them and count it a privilege. Plenty of the Amish and Mennonites would be perfectly glad to have me, but I'd have to change what they consider worldliness, and I don't have one speck of obedience in my DNA. So with the best of intentions, you can guess how that would turn out!
Keeping in touch with old real-life friends from the past and making new ones on the internet has been the only thing that has kept me halfway sane, I'll admit. It cuts into my book reading time severely, but it's still a necessary part of survival in my circumstances. I need frequent reassurance that the whole damned world hasn't gone stark raving bonkers.
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